All You Need Is Faith and Trust....and A Little Bit of Pixie Dust!

The Perks of a Wallflower is such a GREAT book. "And in that moment, I swear we were infinite." Like some, before I read the book, I thought this quote quite was overrated but after reading the book, *hands down* to the greatest book quote I've read so far. So, thanks Jasmine for lending me to read! :)

Anyway, I read a rather interesting article in The Star today. This writer was talking about dreams and how many of us let our dreams die away along our journey in life. It's really good written and it made me thought how many of us had let our dreams died because we didn't chase after them hard enough.

Have you ever walked down the street and noticed some stranger and you wondered - who are they? Where are they heading to? Did they just cry? What are their dreams? To be honest, it's pretty surreal that the person right next to you could be on the brink of breaking down and you wouldn't have the slightest clue. When I look at my lecturers, sometimes I really wonder 'is this (teaching) their dream?' Not degrading the teaching profession at all but like I said, it could be the person next to you, in front of you, behind you -- and you would have not the slightest idea of their dreams, whether achieved or crushed.

But I really hope they achieved their dreams, whatever it may be.

Not long back, I nearly let my dream go. Looking back, I'm so glad I didn't. Really glad and thankful. I supposed I went through what most of us are doing: growing up. God, I hate growing up (most of the time). Suddenly, all that you've believe in for so long is being doubted; reality sets in, money and success become the issue.....It sucks so bad at times, especially when people have already set plans in your life.

So I'm not going to study the mainstream degree like medicine, law, accounting, engineering. I would probably never drive a Ferrari and live in a huge bungalow by the beach. In fact, maybe I'll be just the way I am now, typing and writing but fulfilling the dreams that I've always wanted. I want to write. I want to travel the world. I want to experience and discover new things. That being said, it's pretty shallow for people to stereotype and label what 'dreams' are really about.

I think dreams are the powerhouse within you that keeps a person living his life and just make life more interesting and meaningful. Dreams shouldn't be based on other people's perception nor should it be about what can you get in the future. Though I do agree that the world we live in is a pretty scary place but hey, you got to make sure your dream is bigger than your fear; it's how badly you want it.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost

Still one of my favourite poems. Simple but strong.

P.S. Reading Dorian Gray now!

Oh My Sweet Valentine!

Insincerity. That is probably the second thing I hate most after lies. Then again, insincerity and lies pretty much overlapped one another, don't you think so?

When someone talks to me insincerely, my blood just boils and it annoys the hell out of me. Probably it's because you can actually FEEL their words are insincere and you know the fact that they really don't mean a word they say. Most of the time, I catch myself just listening to whatever the other party has to say but I do nothing in retorting back. Maybe I want avoid any arguments from arising but I swear to the skin of my bones that I rather argue with someone sincerely, rather than listening to words that are full of crap.

It's disappointing, really when people are being insincere especially when the other person knows that you are being insincere. The least you can do for yourself and others is being truthful, no? Though I agree, this situation gets pretty sticky if it circles around family and friends and everyone is trying their best to compromise with each other for the sake of love and friendships. However, there is always a limit to certain things. I believe you should voice out if something really upsets you, even if it might hurt others. If someone truly loves you, then they would accept it, no matter how hard it maybe. Rather than keeping it inside and you have to be insincere every time when faced with the same issue.

Another thing I think why I'm all so touchy with this insincerity thing is because it also draws the line between those who really care for you and those who merely do just for the sake of it. Even with a large number of friends, there are only really few that you can sit down, talk to for hours and pour out everything inside -- those few are the sincere ones who genuinely care. They don't even have to say much, a word or so may do but somehow that feeling of sincerity radiates out of them. Sometimes, that's all someone needs.

Saying all that, I hope I'm sincere enough to those I care about.

Ohhh, Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Guess what? It's..........just another Tuesday to me for the past 19 years already :D Good Lord. But really, those out there who don't have any boyfriend or girlfriend or valentine to celebrate with, just chill. I'm not saying this cause I'm 'forever alone' as some of you might put it but let's just put it this way....

You're gonna be alone tomorrow on Valentine's and probably for the next 321 days. Or more.

Doesn't look any less lonely, does it?

I Want To Be a Wallflower

So we did Lady Chatterley's Lover today in the book club. It was.....sensual and sort of depressing? The sad part is I didn't get to read the book (I only read the synopsis off the internet) because apparently, it's out of stock. Oh well :(


Anyway, last week we did a review on the book - Kite Runner. Yes, I did read this book (two times) and Shu Fei was the moderator. It's really an amazing book despite the many heart-wrenching moments that forced me to take a break from the book when I read it. Despite it being a fiction, I felt it was very real and that's one of the most important aspect of a book -- creating another world for its readers.

So here, we have Hassan and Amir who are literally two opposing characters. If you just glanced it through, you would probably think Hassan represents the 'good' and Amir represents the 'bad' kind of person. That's how we were during the discussion, we were telling how much we could not stand Amir because of what he did to Hassan when Miss Mel pointed out, "Well, don't you think we despised Amir so much because we are actually like him? Or perhaps would do the same things that he did?"

I thought, hell no. However, as I analysed it further, I realised that maybe.....I would have done some thing as Amir did. That oblivious thought scared me but did that made me a bad person? Or did it just showed how human beings are really like? Honestly, I am doubtful that any of us could have done at least of what Hassan did for Amir, even after finding out that Amir betrayed him. If I was in Hassan's position, I would have cried, cursed and cut all ties off with Amir.....but he didn't.

That was one part of the book I was baffled by and it was when Amir got the postcard that Hassan had written for him. There isn't a single ill-feeling word coming from Hassan and it sounded the outermost sincere letter, that he misses Amir and I was just asked myself, "Why?!" I really felt like bringing Hassan alive from the book and just asked him, "Why do you miss Amir? Why did you cover up for Amir when he betrayed you? Why are you so loyal to Amir? Just whyyyyy?"

Suddenly, in the midst of asking those questions (to Hassan), I caught myself being angry and frustrated. Then, it hit me. I was being like Amir. I was being angry and pissed off like Amir. I was being so because just like Amir, I know I would not have done the same thing if someone had done such terrible things to me. Just like Amir, which I think he realised that he wasn't mad at Hassan but at himself for knowing that he doesn't deserve the way Hassan is treating him. Just like me, I felt the same way as Amir did because maybe, I'm an Amir too (?). Perhaps the reason why most of us are mad at Amir because he was just as human as us and his mistakes are just as we might have done.

Miss Mel was right.

I find that pretty sad, sigh.

On a more saddening note, I can't find any Dorian Gray and Perks of Being a Wallflower ANYWHERE. Mother of all books, why :'(