I might not be able to wish all of you on 12 am on the dot. So I'm wishing all my readers a Happy New Year and all the best to come(:
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
To Adele Foucher (1821)My dearest,
When two souls, which have sought each other for,
however long in the throng, have finally found each other
...a union, fiery and pure as they themselves are...
begins on earth and continues forever in heaven.
This union is love, true love,...
a religion, which deifies the loved one,
whose life comes from devotion and passion,
and for which the greatest sacrifices are the sweetest delights.
This is the love which you inspire in me...
Your soul is made to love with the purity and passion of angels;
but perhaps it can only love another angel, in which case I must tremble with apprehension.
So this was what the olden days of how people wrote to their lovers. God, I find it so soulful and romantic that I can't believe a human mind is capable to express such way in words. LOL ;D Okay, so I'm going to try to write a love letter in my own way. HAhaha! I'm just merely bored and trying to think about something else.
My Version - (pretend I'm guy, I don't know why but it seems easier to write a love letter as a guy)
My beautiful Rosie, I love you more than you could have know. Even if everything that's beautiful combined in this world cannot be compared to the beauty and possession you hold for me. Trust me, my love, for I am completely lost in the world without you.
The life without you is like waiting for the last leaf to fall; I am deeply sorry to have escape your wings but I assure you, I'll be flying with you again.
Please, I'm begging you, wait for my return. For I shall not breathe another breath if you decided to abandon me. The world would stop spinning and the sun would stop burning. I want to love you like you love me; I want to care for you like you care me. The world would turn into a mighty stranger without your existence.
Believe me, we never get enough of love nor shall we give enough of love. Believe me, the beats of our hearts at the same time reminds me of the love that will never die.
Let me have your heart always, I would never break it I promise. Let me be in your soul forever, for I would not find any soul that could use its lips to not to kiss mine but my soul.
It's not that good. More of 21st century lost somewhere in the 18th century. Hahaha! But hey, remember, I was just bored, okay? I'm trying hard not to think what will happen when my parents return :/
My grandparents and aunt congratulated me even though I kept repeating I did badly and I didn't deserve the amount of credit they gave me. But they put a stop at my mouth, saying what's important I did my best and they said I did great. Thank you guys, you don't know how much that meant to me.
I broke the news to my parents who were in Taiwan. My mum was shocked and furious with my result. I cried silently when she told me how bad my result was and that she can't believe I can do that bad. That was her first line when I broke the news. God, she didn't know how painful I felt and that all I need to hear from her was some support and that she knew I tried my best.
She didn't see it that way.
My dad called up again a few minutes later. He asked me to call the Jabatan Pelajaran Negeri to recheck again. He kept on pressuring me over and over again that in some miracle they forgot to check the folios I did or there were some errors.
I was in such a state, I was ready to breakdown and cry with never ending tears. He kept on babbling on and on but my mind wasn't paying attention to his voice. I felt so pressured and depressed I was ready to yell at him to shut up!
But before this, I dreamed I would get 3 B's for PMR. When I got the slip, I cried and cried. Partly because I can't believe the dream came true! My dreams never came reality to me and it was hard to cope with it.
And I asked silently, 'God. Why this? Why of all dreams, this had to come true? Why?'
My friends calm me down. Sharan was crying though but she did better than me(: All of us didn't get straight A's but the best part was, we all had each other's back. So I really want to thank them. I hope next year we will still be as close as now despite different classes and streams.
When we were eating lunch, I told my grandpa my result. He at first joked "What?! 3 B's?!" I laughed because I knew it was his way of joking. He loves to do jokes. But then, I really needed to know the truth for once, the truth in some way that how I did. You see, my grandpa may be a joker but he has a hypnotic character.
I asked: Grandpa, is my result bad?
He said: Bad? No, of course not. I don't judge by how many A's or B's you get.
I just kept quiet. Cause my mood was still somewhere depressed.
He continued: Why do you ask that?
I said: Daddy and Mummy said my result is bad. Real bad.
He shook his head. "That's where I disagree with your parents. You can't tell people they're bad just because they didn't get straight A's. Let me ask you, 2+2 is how many?"
I said: Four
He said: Wrong. It's 15. Have you heard the guy, Bill Gates? (I nodded) When people said, 2+2 =4 , he objected. He went and created 2+2 = 15. People thought he was crazy but now, he would be an unforgetable man that has changed the minds of technology. You can't always just stick to the same road everyone is going.
I asked: What do you mean?
He said: I know how much you want the 8 A's. But you got to understand, these A's would help you in college and U, but if you can't understand what you're doing, you won't survive in this world in the future. You have to learn to expand your mind, learn beyond the 8 A's, learn that A's would complete your certificate but it would not complete your mind if you just stick to the same thing because everyone is going there.
I said: Expand like how? I'm only a teen
He said: Expand like Gates did. Next time, there would be 2+2 = 24
I just laughed.
He asked: What do you want to be when you grow up? Seriously.
I said without missing a beat: A writer
He said: Go ahead with your dream. Don't let anyone stand in your way. Qamarina, last time your grandpa wasn't a straight A's student. When people got straight A's, 6 A's, I got 3 A's. When I took a course in U, I failed all subjects and only passed one.
I was like, wtf?
He continued: But now, I'm a director who also produces and writes. Back then, people thought I was going to fail in life but now, I prove myself and them that I can do it. Today, I'm higher than other people. Why? Because I never stop in learning and believing, and I never stop thinking the impossible and think beyond I think.
At that, he completely answered my question. At that, I knew I wasn't some girl who just go to school and past time. I am the girl who wants the best in her life. I want to continue pursuing my dream without doubting if that stream would do any good for me. As for my parents, I hope one day I would prove myself to them as my grandpa did.
So now, when people say congrats to me, I accept it gratefully and thanked them because I knew, I did my best. Not everyone is good at everything. Maybe the day would come, when I'm good at something. Now I know why they say, "It's life. Live life to the fullest."
Grandpa, thank you so much. You don't know how much burden you lifted off my shoulders.
I'm okay but not fully okay. Yet ;)
p/s. Yes, I'm entering Art stream next year and am gonna take up Literature in U(:
Monday, December 29, 2008
So on New Year's Day, I'll be celebrating with my grandparents and siblings. Sigh. My parents will only be back on 2nd January. I just hope my mum will not scream the moment she sees my face when she comes back. God, please. I want straight A's. 8 A's!
My grandpa recommended several places to celebrate New Year's Day. But the two main ones are:
Hmm...Maybe the Mask Party is much more interesting. People wearing masks and you can't identify them. That's something. Hhahaa:D Sigh, I just hope next year will be an awesome year.
2008 is(was) okay. I had the ups and downs but I hope good things will come my way. And, I really want to accomplish the list of things I want which is located at the right side of my blog. C'mon! All I want for New Year is a great life with no regrets(;
Okay. So I have dreamed getting 6 A's only and got B's in Art and Civic which make no sense. But I also dreamed I got a B in Geo! And when I was sitting for the examination, Geo was really hard along with Maths paper 2 and Science paper 2. But I knew I did badly in Geo :/ Damn, I just hope the result slip would show what I want to see.
But whatever the results shows, I would still opt for Art stream. Most of my classmates will be in Science stream. Well, I hope Thira and Sze Yan would be in the same class as me. Or else I'll be the freaky weirdo in class. Sigh. So much changes.
ARGHH! Chatting with Sharan now. She's like ARGHHHHHHH....and GAWDDDDDD. LOL :DD
I feel you, babe. I was like, 'seriously shit' as well
I just really don't know what to do if my results turn out bad. I just don't know :| Sigh. Pray, pray, and pray hard.
GAWD, PLEASE! HELP ME!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
After you watched this video, then you only see what I'm writing.
OMG. I can't believe these people actually still exist. They teach their children to hate black people and other races, except whites. This is completely insane & unacceptable!
Okay. Let's just start with the main fact: WHY PEOPLE STILL JUDGE BASED ON COLOURS???
People cannot choose what colours they want to be born with. It's all in God's hands. Still, what does it matter how dark or fair their skins are? Just because they are darker don't mean they are bad or kind. If they are fair, that don't mean they are nicer or rude. Because you CAN'T judge people by their colours or religions; it's what they do, think & attitude you judge them from.
When I watch this video, I couldn't help but get so mad! Teaching their kids to hate blacks, to avoid blacks and to wipe out blacks from their country. Where did the human mind went so wrong and backward?? And he actually ask Tyra Banks to bring all the African-Americans back to Africa. What the hell is this?!
So here. I'm a Malay-Chinese. I'm a Muslim. My parents, who are both different races taught me to never judge people by their skins and religions. Accept them for who they are. Befriending and loving someone whose worlds are totally opposite of you is NOT WRONG and NOT SINFUL. This is HOW PEOPLE SHOULD THINK.
Some people think darker skin people are "badder". It's just an old thinking way that the darker you are, the uglier you are. But look now, come on. We are in the 21st Century. Think like one! Don't repeat the same mistakes that our ancestors had made. We need to learn from the past.
Okay. If some of you still don't agree with me on this. Then, answer me this.
WHY DOES GOD CREATE MANY DIFFERENT COLOURS PEOPLE IN THE WOLRD IF HE KNEW BETTER TO STICK TO ONE COLOUR?
Same goes to the religion. Don't friend or dislike someone because of their religions. We all must learn to accept different beliefs and respect that. If they believe in Jesus, send them a Christmas Card. If they believe in Buddhism, say Gong Xi Fa Chai(;
So yeah, to THAT family above. I don't know who in the right mind would follow your footsteps. So I hope you are really reading this! I look down on you, I disrespect you and you disgust me by the contents of your brain.
People, please bear in mind that this attitude, learning or whatever you wanna call it is UNACCEPTABLE. It's plain RUDE, DISGUSTING and HORRIBLE.
'Never judge a book by its cover'.
p/s. I'm sorry if I was a little too over. I was too pissed off
LOL. Watch it(;
So my first dream was about Obama. Yes, Obama!!! Hahahhaa:D I don't know why but I actually dreamt about him.
I dreamt that he came to my school. My friends were there...but I only remembered seeing Thira clearly. I can't really recall it. But I knew he was there to teach us, more of like, a lecturer. There was a screen and he taught us from there! Hhaha:D And he was there for more than half of a day. Freaky but cool:D
Then, I had the my worst dream that any students who were waiting for their PMR results could have. I dreamt that everyone was in school and then, our results were coming out. They were calling our names one by one.
I saw Weng Hong, Shaun & Arvin(sorry if the names are mispelled, I don't really know) - the top genuises. They of course, scored all A's. I don't remember seeing my friends there. But surprisingly, I saw Marisa, my old friend. But the weird thing was she is studying at an international school now, well, it was a dream but I didn't feel weird seeing her.
When it came to my turn, gawd. I nearly died. I got only 6 A's!!! Argh!!!!
Then, I got 3 B's, huh. B's for Sivic, Art & Geografi. So now I'm scared I'll get B for Geo but I never sat for Sivic & Art papers, so slightly relived. But it was sooo real! That I was glad I woke up.
I remember seeing my mum in my dream. She was utterly dissapointed in me. =/ Gawd, I hope I would never dream such dream again. It's a total nightmare!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Still, before my parents flew off, my dad happened to read the newspaper on that day and the result day was shown. So my mum called and said, "When you get your result, sms me. If not, I would call." Dammit!
So now, I would say goodbye to all of you if I don't make it :|
After you finish your U, you have to find a job. After you find a job, it's time for looking a mate. After you marry, you have kids. After you retire, you're old and fragile. Directly, this shows to everyone. Look, this is not based on each and every one of you; it's just what I'm seeing and yes, of course, babbling(;
So most of the time, you're tied up with a routine. But I don't want to be like that. I want something more, you know, challenges and adventures. I hate sticking to something, it's so dull. Do some stupid & risky stuff sometimes but please, watch the risk meter. So now, I can proudly say, "Been there, done that". LOL. It's okay to embarrass yourselves once in a while, at least you would finally experience something ONCE in your lifetime.
So if people say, "C'mon. That's stupid, don't do that." or "It's risky. You might get hurt".
Just say, "I live only once. I might as well use it up."
Cause that's what I always do. Just that, I do without thinking. Hahhahaa.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Can I ask you why do some people say that? What is so obvious that one particular person doesn't have a life? Since when do you have the right to say that?
Get a life, indirectly, telling that person that what he or she does is useless, wasteful & stupid. That's how I feel and what most people think. Some might take it lightly but not me, cause I can't stand it when people say that. It really insulting, immature, immoral & rude. I don't care if you were not directing to me or I-didn't-ask-you-to-look-at-this, I still see it and it pisses me off!
So what if that person is doing some stupid job that could end his life? So what if that person is SO OBSESS with something that people think he lost his mind? Why do you even question it when you can't even find the reason why he is doing so?
If someone says I'm going to jump down this bridge, of course, you would automatically try to stop him because everyone knows that taking your own life is wrong.
But what if someone says I'm so obsess with Twilight that I 'm gonna watch it 10 times! Are you going to say "Get a life" because of that?
If someone is a Gothic or simply like to dress emo, now, I always hear this. People would say, "Jesus, get a life!" Ugh!! I would automatically defend them even though I don't know them. Look here, those are their bodies, not yours. Those are their styles, not yours. So SHUT UP.
Let me make this clear. Watching or doing something over and over again doesn't indicates that someone has no life. If it makes them happy, let them be. Besides, what part of they do make them so fake? Obsession is just another human being's lust. Nobody can't deny it. Maybe you don't realize it but yes, everyone does.
Fine, fine. It's a free world where eveyrone can do and say what they like. As if. America always says this is a free land. Note: they forgot to add with laws, rules & barriers which all of you most follow no matter what. Criminals get jailed for rape, abuse and robbery.
Well, those get-a-life people would not have to face the law cause in the eyes of the law, that's just plain rude. But in the society world, you would lose your respect as much as I have lost for those of you.
So please, bear in mind. Those people who keeps saying that, STOP! You should be ashame for being such a fool.
Everyone has a life. They are just, different from yours. So please respect that.
C'mon! Where did all the black & white, mute cartoons went? The ones we used to laugh even though we can't hear but see through their action. Those were the good old days where people can sit in front of the TV for hours without get bored. Now, every few minutes, the channel would change.
These are the TRUE cartoons/shows. No matter how old they are, they never fail to give tons of laughter :D
The Adams Family
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
They were formed some years back, I should be six years old that time I think. I began listening to them when I was eight or nine. Maybe younger. Simon Cowell is the man who advice them or a better word, tell them which song has to be sung. Even I was surprised that Simon Cowell actually helps and manage a boy band.
Actually before this, Westlife had 5 members. Some years back, Bryan left the group. I heard news that Westlife had a hard time but they eventually regroup and stayed strong. Phew!
So you see, they don't have to be like those rock bands or Chris Brown in order to be number one. They just have to sing the songs that are them, eventually people who feels they way they do, like me(: would love them. You should really listen to their songs. They are incredible!
You have to know the lyrics in order to understand wha t they're trying to say. Believe me, if you're a sensitive one, some songs can make you cry. If you're a strong one, you try hard not to cry. The most favourite song for me is Unbreakable. Listen to it! It's beautiful and heart soul.
Til then, I am a forever Westlife MEGA SUPER DUPER fan!
I love you, Westlife
p/s. the guy I like is, Shane Filan, the one with the green eyes(;
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Yes Man! Hahaha. The movie is hilarious. It's kinda like partly Mr Bean and partly Epic movie type. But starting was like, funny...but when they get to the middle part, gawd, GROSS! What worse was that my whole family was there including my innocent lil bro who had no idea what just happened.
But overall, it's an okay movie. Not that funny but if you're some maniac who laughs at just about everything, you gotta watch it. I like the part when he totally forgotten he was still speaking Korean to his friend's fiance and about the fact he met an Iranian lady online. Haha:D Stupid but entertaining.
After the movie, people were still laughing. A bunch of guys were still giggling. Yes, they GIGGLED! hahaa:D But before that, while the movie was still running, there was a really funny part and everyone burst into laughter. Then suddenly, a woman on the opposite me snorted and choked. I bet it was either her drink or popcorn.
I laughed harder! Ahahhaa! Then someone beside her snorted also but also asked if she was fine. But seriously, it was so funny the sound. Whatever.
So I would be stuck at my aunt house in PJ starting tomorrow onwards til 3rd Jan. Then, on the 3rd, my sis and I along with my grandma(my dad's side) would be watching Mamma Mia! The Musical! Yipeee!!! I can't believe my grandma actually bought the tickets. Well the price was really expensive but seeing how desperate my sis and I were, she called up one day and broke the news. I love you so much, Mak Tok! Argh! That reminds me...PMR results! C'mon. Spit it out. When is it going to be release? I have been having restless nights. God, help me.
Monday, December 22, 2008
You can't believe how long can she shops! It's like she can go back to the same place without getting bored. So the last stop was L'O citanne...erm I can't really spell it. But who cares.
So then, I was sitting outside the shop with my sis. My dad and bro were sitting further upside. We were chatting empty talks when two chinese ladies approached us since we were like youngsters. Cough* I think.
She started off like, "You have a minute?" I just stared at her so she took it as a yes.
Then she started babbling about the importance of Christmas & Jesus Christ. She was spilling all out without a full stop. Then she handed me a postcard.
"Do you know Jesus Christ?" she asked at one point. "And what is Christmas all about?"
It didn't matter cause she just continued without needing my answer. Then I look at the card, it said for non muslims only. My sis saw that too. No wonder neither of us could understand whatever crap she was saying.
"Is this for non-muslims?" I finally spoke.
I smiled. "We're muslims."
Both of them looked at me. && FYI, I was dressed like some punk chick. Black min skirt, black leggy, black sleevless top...I actually looked pretty emo.
"Are you Malaysians?" they asked.
They looked again. "I'm a Malay - Chinese." I answered.
They went like OooHH....but their faces were like not going to buy it. Ah, fuck it.
My mum came to know. She baffled at my answer, "Why didn't you just say you're a Portugese?"
Portugese eh? I didn't know I was that hideous. Hah!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
I finally realize why my mum says 'Close your mouth at all time'.
I mean, look at this! C'mon, it's a total embarrassment. It's as though signalling some flies to zoom in & have a slumber-in-the-human-cave signal.
This is an animal torture! Well not that I care cause my uncle dyed his poodle in rainbow colours(: Haha:D I find this rather stupid & immature.
Just be thankful that the dog actually obliged to model for us.
The cat says:
I'm coming...I'm coming...
Here I com- Uff!!!
Damn, I should trusted my sixth sense. Hey, I'm actually sticking on the wall!
Yeah, take the pic of me, I'm gonna show it to my grandchildren one day on how I earned the name of Flying-then-Stick-On Cat
You had a bad day, You take it one down,
You sing a rockin' song, to flush it down
Say you don't mind, it happens all the time,
Work it all day, to earn the night.
I was bored, okay??!
sigh. I love him <3
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I like the part when he said, "Everything about me invites you in...my beard, my belly, my red suit..." Haha:D HAHAHAHA!!! Gross yet hilarious. Dimlight was soooo bloddy stupid!
My list of Christmas Wishes:
1. A guy like Edward Cullen
2. Maybe Edward Cullen himself will do
3. Be on the day President Bush was terrorize with a pair of shoes
4. Having the power to pick teachers in school (u know what I mean)
5. Wanna act in Pirates of the Carribean, Twilight, Harry Potter & THE JUICE BOX
6. I want to be Lindsay Lohan for a day to feel what is like to be part girl & a lesbo
7. My tongue is able to touch the tip of my nose
8. I can jump and fall without breaking my bones
9. Chocolate...including Hagen Daaz choc chip (:
10. Experience all four seasons (I left spring -- one more!)
11. Able to read people's minds & have supernatural powers like in the Covenant
12. Can speak Spanish, Irish & Danish
13. Black Forest Choc & Delifrance Beef Lasagna!
Monday, December 15, 2008
over and over like a milky way.
I called you over the way I do,
through shattering pieces that I could bear.
For I have known, for what you said,
there is no happily ever after,
for love stories never end.
Here I am, flowing tears,
were they just stories to lie a love?
The eyes I have once known,
shone back at me as though seeing past me.
The lips I have once touched,
seemed to lost its magic of touch want.
I stared back,
the deep down end for I have knew.
So I kissed you goodnight,
just like every other nights,
where I would curl up in my chain of love.
Except this time,
I stood by you, fighting back tears
as I watch you embraced the replacement for me.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Speaking of hairstyle, I really wish Robert Pattinson would do something about his hair. E.g. -
Really, if my guy was like Robert with the Bad Hair, I would never touch his hair...or even go out with him! My first sight in guys are with fabulous hair...&& good smell.
So yeah, I really wish that Robert would fix his hair in the those Much Better Hair's pics(:
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I just kept on stealing glances at them even my sis thought they were hot. Pfft. C'mon. How often do you get to sit down, eating your lasagna and having hot guys standing a few feet away from you. It's a true blessing.
So then, my grandma came back. I had to go upstairs to get my laptop that was for service. The Hot Guys were about to leave anyway. I went up one floor and came down back. As I was turning into the corner, guess who? Yeap. Them.
I bumped into them. Like two more steps and I'll be face flat. They were like mumbling sorry but I was dazzled! Hahaha:DD I thought I might faint but I quickly walked away. Then they took the elevator down.
Then I sat down and recalled back. That guys were standing and looking at something. I nearly laughed out loud. Guess what?
They were looking through a beauty saloon for women who do facials & stuff. Rory was like I knew something must go wrong. Gay.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
This is not my X-ray but it's close. I broke my second bone, my toe, at the age of 9. I was jumping on the bed and fell off.
This is not mine either but it was exactly like this when I broke my third bone at the age of 11. I was running and trip over a drain, breaking my left foot. In the end, my 'foot' was all filled with artworks especially from my father who taught it was a good lesson for me to start acting like a decent girl.
Then, I broke my chin when I was cycling at the age of 14. I lost control of my bike and fell into a big drain. I didn't really fell to the end because my chin landed on the edge of the drain which partly saved me from more broken bones but ended up with a disfigured jaw for a few months.
Seriously it's better than getting squash every single night.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
- meeting Westlife
- to meet my Romeo
- able to walk in space
- having Fairy Odd Parents
- time machine
- supernatural powers
- travel the whole world
- meet Manchester United players
- rich, fame, glory. LOL
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
The holiday is so boring...I'm stuck in the house for 24/7 :( I want to go down to Ampang, I really miss my old place. Nothing's changed. My grandparents are down there and would be fetching my sis and I to stay ovr a few nights. Yeah! I'm so sick of this too green Shah Alam. I missed the night lights, sounds of traffic & the variety of shopping.
I really don't know what to do now. Sigh* Watching Hallmark, can't give a crap what show is on air. Yawn. Bo-ring.