Thursday, January 29, 2009

My Ten Guy Crushes

Now, it's the Guy Crushes. Hahhaha. Okay, this is gonna be slightly longer cause we ARE girls. We DO chase after guys...but in the hysteria, shirt tearing way.

1. Shane Filan - Westlife

2. Nicky - Westlife

3. Kian - Westlife

4. Mark - Westlife (alaaa, he's gayy!)

5. Ryan Taylor - model

6. Josh Harnett - actor

7. Matthew - bj(:

8. Rainbow - bj <3

9. Chace Crawford - actor

10. Matthew Bellamy - Muse (don't be mad, ina)

Whoosh! They are smokin' HOT!

My Girl Crushes

My friends and I are doing this GAYBIAN -- a club rule by Khairul! Hahhahaa. Man, this guy is sexy & hot! Hahahaha, sorry.

My 5 girl crushes are :-

1. Taylor Swift

2. Hailey from Paramore

3. Katey Perry

4. Uffie

5. Angelina Jolie

We are not lesbians or gays. We are just girls having fun. Hahaha. LOL.

So yeah, these ladies are like super cool. Uffie is a singer, by the way. You can find her songs at Myspace. Trust me, she is a freakin' cool singer -- better than Lady Gaga for me(;

School Is Forever There

I'm really bored. But at least, today I have no tutions or anything. I can't make it to my friend's house for a badminton game): Sorry guys. But Sharan! You promised to call me and record it!! I don't want to miss the drama!!




Anyway, I'm chatting with Idzham. We are chatting on how happy we are school life is gonna end for us one day which is in 2010, next year. But partly, we don't want to leave school. The thought of leaving school - is like tearing ourselves from our souls.

- No more entering the classrooms to study.
- No more teachers yelling for us to shut up.
- No more homework.
- No more headaches.

- No more sports day.
- No more struggling at the canteen.
- No more fears going up the stairs.
- No more chasing after guys.
- No more gossiping with girlfriends.


My mum once told me, "Enjoy and appreciate your school life while you can. When I was your age, I took it for granted. Enjoy it, it's the best time of your life."

She made me reazlied that school is not just a place to learn and gain knowledge. But indirectly, that's how I met my friends who turn into best friends; I met hateful people who turn into enemies; I learn the truth under every cover. Most of all, I learn to live life to the fullest and take it as it comes and goes.

In school, I learned a lot from my experiences. Getting scolded, getting canned(ouch!)...

speaking of canning, that brings me back when I was studying at my Chinese primary school. I always get canned, not that I'm bad but I wasn't good enough.

Whenever there was spelling test, if anyone get 75 below will be canned. Sigh. I often get it. Man, I still remember how my teacher took a long, thin stick and wipped my hand. Hahhaa. It's not excatly a sweet memory but I still feel glad that I had experienced it. LOL.

People say, "The world does not expect anything from you kids. But once you leave your school life, you are going to face the real world. And it's not the world that you are hearing right now. It's much bigger, bolder and fiercer."

I'm still studying, gaining knowledge from my teachers who I truly respect although there are times which I can't stand them. Ahh, it's normal for students. Hahaha:D

But yes, I'm still in school. No way do I want to drop out and waste any second of it.

School is school. And I'm gonna enjoy it while it last(:


Monday, January 26, 2009

People Are Blind

I had just finished shopping with my family that day at OU. My mum was like shopping so long -- for how many hours that my feet hurt.

Then, as we left the exit door, there was a blind man a few meters away from us. He was pushing a trolley filled with minerals bottles. I was puzzled because I thought why would a blind man be hired for a job like that. But then my dad said, some people aren't as lucky as us. They have to do things against the odds to survive. A part of me felt sorry for that guy.

Before I could answer my dad, the trolley hit a bumper on the road and the trolley flipped and the bottles fell. Everyone stopped including us. There was a moment of silence before everyone realized what just happened.

Immediately, those who were nearby gave him a hand. An old couple and a few passers by helped him. I never thought I felt any better.

But then, my gaze dropped on the security guard who was standing right in front of the poor blind man and did nothing but merely stared at the blind man up to down. I was furious. I wanted to extended my help for the blind man but there were many people helping him and there was a young man who offered to push the trolley to its destination already. By that time, 2 pair of hands were helping the blind man to walk.

My mum said, "Someone should tell that security guard off. He has his responsibility."

But my dad thought a different way. "He should know what's wrong. The one who eats the torn, he shall feel the pain. It's human nature."

Then I thought of the blind man who must have felt so grateful for the good Samaritans. And I thought of the security guard who wore the uniform as a guard but did nothing when the blind man fell in front of him.

Sometimes we think we are unlucky and things never go the way we want. But we never knew how lucky we are -- to have things that some people can't buy with money.

And when you feel some uneasy feeling creeping inside you, as though you did or didn't do something, try and think back what happened. Who knows maybe there was a blind person pushing a trolley for his living.


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Help Me

Maybe at times I can be too open,
embarrass the faces of everyone,
maybe I can be too sure,
until it drops down on me.
There are times when people think me
as someone who should be slap,
humouring it may be
but it can silently slit me.
I'm sorry if I am too embarrassing;
I'm sorry if I am too blunt;
I'm sorry if I take things too lightly;
I'm sorry if I make things bad.
There are some parts of me,
that I have not told anyone before.
I want to but I don't know who,
cause everyone seems happier
and easy going,
rather than me to face home
which is not so sweet.
I do not blame you,
but I need a pair of ears to listen to me.
When I say listen,
I need them to understand.
When they understand,
I need them to accept,
cause I am not born with a silver spoon,
I am not born with a picture perfect family.
I always try to cover up,
maybe replace it with my anger,
because that is how I feel.
So, I'm sorry if I am too different from you
but I really need someone,
just for once,
to really listen and accept the fact,
that I am a faker.

-- something happened before this. But I have no one to turn to. I hate the fact that I have to face this alone. The person I used to tell is no longer here and I can't trust to tell anyone because I just don't know.........

Welcoming the Ox Year

Yipee!! School is off for a week and it's not even February yet. Lol.

I'm currently myspacing and really bored, so I'll just blab about what's gonna happen tomorrow and explain it.

Bear with me, if you can. :D

It's Chinese New Year, the year of Ox this time. People think that Chinese New Year is all about lion dance and wearing red but it's not. It's when everyone you know -- family & friends get together to spend time together. It's like Hari Raya & Christmas, just that we wear red on that day.

I'm currently eating mi-ku now. It's like white bread but it's much softer & tastier. My Chinese grandma always make them cause we could up til 5 plates of them. Hahahaa.

Anyway, we used to drive back to Ipoh, our hometown for a 5 hours drive. But since my grandparents move to the city with us, it was only a 10 minutes drive then. It's kind of sad not to be able to drive back in the cramp, noisy car where everyone would yell at each other and not having many relatives visiting as before but it's still New Year, so what the heck.

My mum had been tidying up the house today non-stop from cleaning the table to moping floors, then changing curtains and washing all the clothes and hang them for dry. You see, Chinese believe that if you sweep or do any cleaning on Chinese New Year's day, it means you are sweeping all your luck away. So I have to wash my hair today and leave it stink for the entire day tomorrow.

And, my mum kept repeating to us to not wear any dark colours tomorrow. Best, wear RED. But I don't understand what's the fuss since we all known this since birth. LOL. Just being mum.

But the best part for us(youngsters) is receiving ang-pows. They are red, small envelopes fill with money inside. Hahhaa. So you get my point. But sadly, my mum would keep all the money and save some of them in the bank while the remainder she would spend. Sigh. So it still leaves me nothing. But it doesn't really matter cause I don't get allowance -- it doesn't exist in my family. My mum would give me RM5 to RM10 every 3 days when I go to school, so when I want something, I have to ask, no, wait, I need to beg. Hahahhaa

The other thing is the adults would play mah-jong. It's a game which is often display in Chinese movies since I can't really explain it. They play with these white, small rectangular shaped with Chinese characters on them. It's like a Chinese people way of playing casino and gambling. Sometimes they use money but usually they use plastic coloured coins to play.

Okay. I want to get back myspacing right now, lol. So this is about it. I have to wake up early tomorrow and celebrate another new year! How lucky am I :)

So to those celebrating Chinese New Year, "Gong Xi Fa Cai. Zhu Ni Men Nian Nian Kuai Le."


Sunday, January 18, 2009

STOP Violence in Gaza

I've just finished my maths & chemistry homework. Sigh. I've been having tutions the whole week that my eyes were as though falling off their sacs. Anyway, I'm not here today to blab about what have I gone through. There are others out there who need to be hear but they aren't able to reach out.

See this pic? Looks familiar? Yes. The War in Gaza. Before I say anything further, let me say that I'm not siding anyone's side. My main theme today in this blog is that WAR DOES NOT BENEFIT ANYONE.

I've been reading the newspaper daily and all the headlines were Gaza, Gaza...War, War. This has got to stop! How much more must people suffer? Especially the innocents, the children and women. Tell me, what have they done wrong?

There was a classroom filled with children in Gaza and while they were studying, a bom came down and killed every single one in the classroom including the teacher. What is this? Killing children who are studying? What have they done wrong there?

People, war does not do any good. Cause in the end, everyone loses. Some families would lose their husbands and fathers and most of them lose their children. Humans beings are gifted by God with brains and minds to think -- in other words, to solve a problem without using violence. I can't imagine myself taking gun and shooting right through someone innocent.

And what about those children? Those who so heartless are animals for killing children. What do they benefit from that?

Haven't we all learn from the past? World War One & World War Two? Have we all forgotten them? Those wars had never benefit anyone.

I don't know what you may be thinking now. Maybe some of you think I should just mind my own business but if you are, then, I'm sorry cause it's the least I can do for the people in Gaza who had been brutally attacked. My school has opened up a donation for the victims of Palestinians and never had I not thought what must it feel like to be in a war zone. Where anywhere you go isn't safe and anyone you know can't be trust.

So please, please, please stop the war in Gaza. Stop the murdering. Stop the sufferings. Those who feel the same way as I do, pray hard to the Lord that the war will stop. 'Thou shall not kill'. I don't read the Bible but in the Quran says that 'Murder is one of the heaviest sin'.



Sunday, January 11, 2009

Heels over Toes

Dear readers, I seem to be not blogging as active before. Really am sorry, but since school started, I've been really busy and juggling with homework & tution.

Okay to start off first, I got into a Sub-Science stream. But most of my classmates got into Pure Science Stream. I didn't mind at all since all the subjects were the same except for one. Well, I merely THOUGHT.

Sub-Science Stream consists of :
(basics) - B.Malaysia, English, History, Modern Maths & Islam/Moral
(electives) - Engineering Drawing, Chemistry, Physics & Add Maths

Pure Science Stream consists of :
(basics) - it's the same
(electives) - it's the same too except instead of Engineering Drawing, it's Biology

First, I thought, what the heck 'Engineering Drawing' should be easy. But then, all of us got a fright of our lives when our teacher showed us the SPM exam paper. One word - horrible! But then, I thought it shouldn't be hard, I just need to study harder and stuff.

When I reached home, my parents & I finally came to a solution. Since Engineering Drawing is so hard and I can barely
draw, not to mention I failed my Art Exams 3 times in a row, they suggested I appeal to get into Pure Science stream. I was kinda reluctant since I thought Sub Science was pretty cool.

'If SPM comes, and you still can't cope in Engineering Drawing, how?' my mum pressed.

I kept silent. Well, it didn't hurt since I don't want to become an engineer neither I want to be a doctor or scientist. There were other streams but they all had nothing to do with Literature. I knew how much my mum wanted me to be a Doctor or maybe something with high earning I finally gave in and my dad appealed on behalf of me.

So, I might enter Pure
Science if the school board approve. Or else, I'll stay and try my best to at least pass the exams. But I know how much my mum wants Pure Science, so that's half of the reason why I really hope I get into it. She even suggested Account Stream but me, accounting? Please, I could barely cope with Additional Maths.

The other side was my friends and I were half here and there. But amazingly, we are all still as close and fun as before. Just the fact that we weren't seeing each other as much as we used to. But we made a point to be together whenever we could.

Ina is still as babbling as before
Alliya is still bursting laughs when we all try to be cool
Sharanya is still the best jok
er we've ever met
Sze Yan is stil
l sarcastic yet blur (it's her nature)
Thira is still entertaining us with updates LOL :D

I think t
hat's all for now. Wait for another week, maybe I would have some topic to talk about. Oh yeah, Sharan is gonna be my lawyer. hahaahha!!


Saturday, January 3, 2009

Mamma Mia the Musical

One word -- FABULOUS

It was the best musical I have ever been to. I couldn't imagine if I ever miss this chance of attending the musical. The outfits were colourful, stunning & ah-mazing!

I love ABBA and the Mamma Mia movie. Love both(; Their songs are all beautiful & soul touching. I can't even list down my favourite songs!

Well, it was full house. And guess what? The Prime Minister of Malaysia & his wife, with some members of the parliament were present. But of course, they were seated on the upper floor. My grandma and sis along with me got the seats at the front row. How lucky.

The men in the cast weren't that good looking but they have great bodies. Woot, woot. Hhahaa. But the guys who plays Skye, he has a thick accent, like thick enough that I can't understand more than half of what he was speaking but he has great body (;

At first, there was no sound. Then, BOOM! My heart skipped a beat...wait, make that two. LOL

Then half way through, there was some parts label as 18PG (hahahaha!), people start to laugh. There was a boy beside my sister roared with laughter. He was like, 'wakakaka...jjahahjsggahaha'.

I leaned forward and thought, wtf? My sis snorted and stored her laughter:D

After that, when the casts were closing down the musical with dances and songs, there was big sized, bald guy who was like moving in his chair. -- erm, I don't know how to say but he had these weird hand movements and moving his head, like people see some lunatic people do in movies. Well, not only me who was staring at him but a whole load of people were grinning at him.

Hahhaa. But if Mamma Mia comes again, I would surely go ((:


Silly Is Good

Tell one of the silliest incident that you went through and explain it(:

Mine was back in 2000. I was 7 years old at that time. My family was still staying in an apartment, only this apartment has a really big and long balcony. So one night, my father decided to have a B.B.Q.. He invited the whole family from my mum's side, I can't remember why my dad's side didn't come.

Anyway, we were playing fireworks and there was B.B.Q. at the same time. So the smoke was thick and blurry. I remember sneezing non stop, like something was tickling my nostrils.

Then, my mum called: Qamarina!!!

I ran to get into the house. Then, SLAM!!!

I slammed right through the sliding door. The smoke was thick enough to blur my vision. I landed on my butt and then, I was crying. My nose hurt a lot! Not to mention I broke my nose before.

My uncle first quickly came to my aid but as soon as I was fine, he roared with laughter. My parents came out and asked how on earth I could slammed right at the sliding door. Soon, everyone laughed and I became the joke of the day, months and years.

Well, right now they don't bring it up anymore. Now it's all how come I always get a bum on my head when I wake up. When I sleep, I always sleep on my shoulder side. My bed is against the wall so everytime I turn, I hit my head against the wall. Like a sound, thud. My dad thought about cushioning the wall, he's scared I might end up with a brain tumor :|


Friday, January 2, 2009

For the Better or Worse?

Sorry if this picture scares you but it's what I feel like right now.

So right now, I'm in dilemma. I really don't know which stream to enter now. I have 2 choices.

  • I enter Science Stream -- but at the same time, I take up extra subjects: Sastera Melayu & English Literature

  • I enter Art Stream -- and take up English Literature
If I enter Science Stream, I would get a higher chance of scholarship. And of course, more stuff to learn and the subjects are interesting...only about the Add Maths & Physics :| But for Sastera Melayu, I have to learn all by myself, not to mention Eng Lit. Gulp.

If I enter Art Stream, I would only need to take up English Literature as my add on subject and learn all by myself except for Sastera Melayu since I would have a teacher to teach.

But I think I'll do Science, it's easier to get a scholarship. Well, if I DO get into Science, maybe, I'll stay...

Ugh! I don't know! Help!


School Is Back - A Never Ending Journey

Oh man. 5th January. ARGH! 5th January 2009 = Back To School. New Year, New Books, New Class & New Classmates. Sometimes I wish there weren't many 'new', I prefer some things unchanged.

So, I'm going to enter Art Stream(my choice) and take up Literature. My ex-schoolmates were like, 'Art Stream? QM, art stream doesn't open much opportunity in U and jobs.'

I was like, jeez, we're on 15 going 16, let's slow down and enjoy our teens.

Besides, I'm totally set for taking up Literature in U. I'm not into accounting or surgeon or engineer which most of the people are chasing after. Yeah, so some of them may say that becoming a writer/author, the payment is less or unstable....So what?! I love writing. I love books.

And if there was any way of making me really upset, is to take away all my books and burn every notebooks and pens. And of course, ban me from entering bookstores. Oh boy, I would be showing my tantrum like a 5 year old kid who doesn't get her Barbie doll.

Take away my handphone? And my allowance? Sure, go ahead. Been there, done that. I survived. By the way, I don't even get allowance. Just daily RM5 - RM10 to buy food at school(;

taken in early 2008
Attended a show by some school
'Phantom of the Opera'

These are Malaysian students with their school uniforms. LOL. Don't mind our expressions. We were all full of 'Christine!!!' after watching the drama. Sigh, sometimes I hate the uniform. It's all covered up as shown as above. After 2 hours in school, I would sweat! Ugh. How I hate sweating.

The girl on the far right, Sharan is with a different uniform because she's a prefect. Oh trust me. Her uniform is worse. Man. I wish they change the uniforms...into something not so clutchy and so to stop the sweat!

Anyway, when school starts, I won't be able to blog and online as often as now. I might be able to do so on the weekends. So, hang in there. Sigh. Why can't school just use laptop for homework? And not all these thick textbooks and exercise books :/

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Some Things Never Change

So this is my first official post for 2009(: This incident happened back in 2008 but I guessed it's never too late to tell something.

My mum and my sister or my brother...I can't remember went to the nearby mall to do grocery. I was still in school and my dad was at work. As usual, my mum was took out her credit card to pay. But when the cashier lady saw the name written on the credit card, she refused to accept it. My mum was startled as it was the first time she was ever, ever rejected using her card.

Mum: What's wrong?

Cashier: Your name is a Muslim but you're a Chinese.

My mum immediately took out her Identify Card and showed the lady, to proof that yes, she's a Muslim. She even explained that she's a Muslim because she is married to a Muslim. The cashier still refused. You could imagined how mad and insulted my mum felt. The cashier went and called the manager. My mum, being brave for she is right agreed and waited. But hell yeah, her anger was near eruption.

The manager finally came. He checked and checked, then he realized my mum was innocent all along. My mum demanded an apology and of course, the lady cashier apologized. Well, my mum wasn't just done yet.

Mum said(raising her tone): Why? Chinese can't be Muslims, is it?

There were 2 Indians behind my mum and they nodded in an agreement. Since then, my mum refused to go to that mall again. So we had to do our grocery at a different mall. Sigh.


That's the first one. Here, the second one is something people keep on and on asking me.

Okay, here is it. I don't know the answer!

Well you see, everytime we fill in forms like, races. There are like, Malay, Chinese, Indian & Others. So sometimes people ask me, so which one do you tick? I said, I have been ticking under Malay since birth.

When I was in form one, I studied in a Convent school. So the students there were much more open and spoke up. One day, our class teacher gave us forms to fill in for the school. God knows why we had so many forms to fill.

Then, one of my classmates asked: Teacher, what does QM has to tick as her race?

I rolled my eyes. Naive, I thought. Seems like none of them have ever met mixed blood people.

But as a matter of fact, I was rather amused when the teacher hesitated, like she couldn't find anything to say. Soon everyone kept quiet and waited for her to answer. Realizing we weren't going to let go, she answered.

She said: I don't know. If her birth certificate says that she's a Malay, she is one.

They said: But she's not a pure Malay.

Teacher said: It doesn't matter. Even if her mum is the Malay, it still would be the same.

HUH????? Okay. I was blurred then. But then, I soon learned the naked truth. Here, if anyone marries a Muslim, that someone has to convert to Islam, so goes for their kids.

But that still doesn't fully answered my question, why can't I tick myself as a Chinese since I part Chinese and not full Malay? This question I forward to you from my friends who asked me. Can't I tick both? Can't they just wipe out the races box? So to those people who keep asking me, please, I'm sorry but I really don't have the answer.

Hopefully someone out there can answer it and then, I'll forward back to you guys(;

Lovely Blog Award

Thanks, Melissa at My Little World (: Well, I don't really do this but I really appreciate it. Whoa. What a great year to start off with!

Okay. So here's my list of 7 blogs I love reading. Take some time and read these blogs, it's worth it.

Once these bloggers are notified with their awards, do the same thing that I did which Melissa told me. But if you need more info, you can go to her blog, her link is above there(:

OMG. 2009 is here!

ARGHH!!!! OMG!!!

It's 2009! I can't believe it! Everywhere is like BOOM BAM BOOM! The neighbours, Caucasians were yelling HAPPY NEW YEAR. So I was a little hyper, I shouted as I ran out from my house to the middle of the road to see the fireworks.


hahahaa!! Then, they were laughing and shouted Happy New Year! back at me. Lol, I was crazy!

Well, I hope this year would be a great year. I want to live this whole year without any regrets and of course, I want to buckle up and study harder(;

Mom and Dad, happy new year to you guys, in Taiwan(:

My friends, happy new year, I love you guys <3

To my readers, have a wonderful new year and all the best ((;