Saturday, May 9, 2009

To The One I First Loved

This may seem awkward since I said I won't be blogging til my 2 weeks exam is over. But I've been studying, going to tuition classes til 10pm...I'm so exhausted until I'm having eye bags(ARGH). So today is Saturday - Wesak Day for the Buddhist people and tomorrow is Mother's Day -- and I'm free! Well, for a few hours then I have to do revision again.

So yeah! I'm back for a while then gone again for a while:/

Today I'll be talking about mothers(: did Mother's Day come about? Not many people know whether if this is true or false but it doesn't hurt to know something beautiful.

Anna Jarvis, daughter of Anna Reeves Jarvis, who had moved from Grafton, West Virginia, to Philadelphia, in 1890, was the power behind the official establishment of Mother's Day.
  • swore at her mother's grave site in 1905 to dedicate her life to her mother's project, and establish a Mother's Day to honor mothers, living and dead

  • a persistent rumor is that Anna's grief was intensified because she and her mother had quarreled and her mother died before they could reconcile

  • in 1907 she passed out 500 white carnations at her mother's church, St. Andrew's Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia -- one for each mother in the congregation

  • May 10, 1908: the first church -- St. Andrew's in Grafton, West Virginia -- responded to her request for a Sunday service honoring mothers

  • 1908: John Wanamaker, a Philadelphia merchant, joined the campaign for Mother's Day

That's just a short history of how Mother's Day came about. It's really saddening at the beginning. But I'm not here for a sad about we just talk about our mothers.

My mum's name is Wendy. Although she has converted to Islam, people still call her by her birth name which is Wendy. She's a Chinese who can speak 3 dialects - Mandarin, Cantonese & Hokkien. She's fair which I'm not, organized and beautiful which I don't have either. Sigh. Such luck.

My mother gave birth to me on the night of 25 May 1993 and named me Qamarina Almas which means - Golden Moon. I know, kinda weird but who says I'm normal? She enrolled into a Chinese school when I'm 5 until 12. She told me,"I want you to grow up and remember who you are. You are not a pure Malay; you came from a Chinese mother." Because of that, she earned my 1st person to respect.

My mother always scolded(she still does) and beat me on my shoulders, hands or pull my ears when I was younger - always because I didn't like studying. I hated her so much for that. But I was scared of her so I studied and studied. Eventually from the 2nd bottom class, I got into the 2nd class surrounded by smart students. I told myself before, once I get the good results, I'll flunk back into my old-self and waste my time.

Haha. I was so naive. I realized how great it felt to see a gred A report card and topping the people you thought were smart. I wanted to be a good student then, I wanted to study and be a bright student. My mum told me,"When I was your age, I never studied. I passed with B's and C's but my friend got all A's. I felt so bad, so mad at myself." Then, I understood she didn't want me to end up like her. Because of that, my hate for her turned into love.

My mum hated when I use my handphone too much that she snatched it away. Then, she would scold me for the whole night. My mum never let me to go out with my friends when I was younger. She wanted to know everything I did, do - where I was, what I'm doing. I felt so trapped like a mini camera was installed everywhere I go. I hated it so much. My close friends grew scared of my mum and I grew further away from my mum.

Soon, we stopped talking. It became robotic days. Just "Eat you breakfast","Here's some money", "Do your work", "Go to sleep". I became depressed because I'm not close to my dad but I think it's because I can't talk the things I want to with him.

But like they say, mother knows best. I think she started to realize that although she had been a teen once, we are still teens from different times. Her father never let her use the phone and there was no mall last time. But now, things have changed - people grow. She understood that and I was given the freedom that I was banned from it. For that, I call her my friend.

I never understood most of the times what was she doing. I could not accept at times when she said it was the best for me yet I hated it. I used to think that why did she have me if she hated me so much? But then, I was naive. I could not see the truth underneath her skin.

We never say 'I love you' to each other. We don't kiss on each other good night. She may not realize this but despite of all that, the bond is still there. No matter how much she anger me and I anger her, she's my mother and I'm her daughter. There's no way in the world to change my mother. And although we can't see eye to eye, I wouldn't trade my mum for the world!

Tell me if there's any perfect mums and children in the world? Prove to me there are no strict and rebellious child in the world. Nobody's perfect. But to me, my mum's perfect in every ways. She asked me to bring her along when I finish my studies and stay aboard...Mummy, I will full fill my promise.

I may look like I hate my mum at times but hey! It's na-tu-ral :D

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers!!

I Love You, Mummy. Forever(:


your daughter, QM


ApocalypsE said...


Anonymous said...

Wonderful, thoughtful and honest Mum's Day musing, QM. The teen years are the most difficult - for the kid AND the parent, trust me. My oldest daughter didn't much like my wife and me when she was in her teens. And we didn't much like her either. But we still loved each other. Big difference. You can love someone and not like them - the things they do. By the time she was in her early 20's and out on her own, she realized a lot of the things we were saying and insisting on were right and for her own good. We are now best of friends and have a great relationship. It's all good. :)

Love your new layout! And hey - "Golden Moon?" Love it. And get this - I named my son, "Blue Moon-Sky." Everyone thought I was nuts, that he would get teased for such a strange name, but he never was, everyone has always said what a beautiful and cool name he has.

I hope you can stop by Free Spirit tomorrow. Having read your post today, I KNOW you'll appreciate my Mother's Day post. :)

rory said...

mom knows best i guess :D

Ms.R. said...

Aww that was so honest and nice. I remember my Mum beating me up for studies and all too. I was such a crazy kid. :D Hugs to you for writing this one!


A. K. said...

Wow! THat was a cool tribute.. QM there is always this generation gap between parents and kids, that's the reason why we can't go along with one another. But in the end there is no other love so deep and wide like a mother's love..

Great post!

Thousif Raza M.B said...

God its the nicest blog post i have read in my life, really ya

i too have sometimes felt the same

but later changed for the better

grt post qm absolutly gr8 ;)

loved each and every word of it.

and by the way the suprise i told you, is in my blog hope you like it....

take care and keep writing.......

lalloya said...

this is sweet.

Shanya said...

This is like walking a walk to remember KLEENEX moments!