It's a Sunday night. I'm at my aunt's house, just had dinner with the rest of my family. I will have to leave later though, school starts again tomorrow. Sigh. Why can't the classrooms have air conds and end every one's sufferings?
Anyway, today I want to talk about something useful. I want to make those grey clouds vanish and let the sunshine past through. You do need rain and sunshine to balance it all out. I know that everyone has been through hardships, it is not easily dealt with but frequently ignored. When the problem is small, we tend to let it slip through our fingers, thinking, 'Oh never mind, it's only a small matter.' But when it eventually gets out of control, that is where the real headache comes in and at that moment all we could think, 'What am I going to do?'
I've been through that before, sometimes I still do while not realizing it. What can I say? I am a perfectionist but perfect does not exist in this world - well, literally. So when we fail in what we thought will work out, we often let this...misery and feeling of 'end of the world' overpower us. Which is happening BUT should not be happening.
Nobody thought me how to deal with this situation. The situation when I feel everyone around me shuns, feeling of numb towards everything, that feeling of not living. Sadly, nobody around me knows about this. I don't talk about this because honestly, there are just some things that other people can't understand but only you. They can listen and comfort you but in the end, you still have to mend yourself emotionally.
But I learned to be strong from a very young age. My life is like every child from the outside but the inside was worse at times. When you to this point of losing hope, don't give up. Keep the faith. You may be looking at other people's lives and wonder how much you wish you could have their lives that seemed so fairy tale like - wake up! You can keep on wishing but the star won't drop down from the sky. Face the reality and give yourself some dignity.
Crying and sorrow are just part of life's test. You have to mend yourself starting from inside. There are times when you feel the world is closing down on you, all you have to do is stand tall and find that part of you to rise up. It's easy for as long as you believe in yourself. You need to have that belief in you, find a point in your life achieve. Don't just sit there until your time comes.
I used to sit at a corner, alone and cry by myself. Little did I know that I was suffering from depression. It comes and it goes, my life was a ship wreck back then. Now it's better but it's not exactly the best right now. I'm slowing taking baby steps; I still cry alone out of the blue sometimes. Maybe it's a girl thing...I don't really know. But whatever it is, you have to know you are not alone.
You have people around you. Trust yourself first before trusting them. Then you'll know who are your true friends that will stick by your side through sunshine and rain. The rest are just obstacles who just try to make your life harder. So put on that big, brave smile and face the big, big world. Nobody can tell how small you are, you tell how big you are.