Friday, May 28, 2010

The White Lies

Mmm-hmm. I changed my layout again. Couldn't help it, I just get bored easily. So I logged into Blogger yesterday and to my surprise, my good blogger friend, Thousif was awarding Blog Awards and he awarded me with the Consistency Award :D

Hahahah. I was flattered and really surprised. He gave other awards to others and wrote really sweet notes about them. You can visit his blog here: Soul Space. It's a very lively and interesting blog. He's one of loyal blog buddy, so thank you, Thousif throughout the blogging journey!

Have you ever encounter this situation whereby you are torn between the truth and lie? No no, nothing like murder and stuff but because, you know the truth and that person wants to know the truth but you know if you tell the truth, that person would end up hurt. I bet all of us have been through this before.

B: How's the food?

Me: Nice. (omg, wtf is this?)

B: Really? Yeay! I'm going to cook this for my friend's dinner.

Me: What? (oh shit, oh shit)

B: Why?

Me: (think, think) Well, I just thought maybe you could do something that your friend would like. You know...she likes fried chicken, right? Maybe you can do that, add around some spices and stuff...

B: (thoughtful) Maybe you're right. I should. After all, it is her dinner.

Me: (relieved) Yupp.

I didn't say her cooking was bad because I knew how much it would upset her but at the same time, I made her changed her mind about cooking that dish which would definitely bring the night to dust for everyone. This is what people call the White Lie.

Honestly, I'm not pretty sure why it's not called the Blue Lie or what so ever. But I think it's because the colour white brings the perception of pure and lie, well, we all have done that. So it's something like a pure lie where you lie because you have to; because you don't want to be insensitive and hurt that person's feeling.

The internet defined White Lie as an unimportant lie. Interesting, huh? Anyway, most men think like that. Women tell more white lies than men do because women are more sensitive and emotional while men would be thinking, let's get straight to the point. We can't blame women for being too sensitive since emotionally, it's a right thing to do yet we can't blame men for being too honest because honesty is the best policy.

I tell white lies even though that person tells me: I want your honest answer/opinion. Well, not ALL the time - it depends. Like for my sister, I never tell white lies to her. If she looks horrible in that outfit, I would just say: Are you serious? What are you thinking? Go and change.
But I guess, it's because she's my sister and there's absolutely no secrets between since birth.

But it involves friends, that can be tricky. Sometimes I can just say, 'No, it's not that nice/good/___' But it involves a lot of times when I just look at my friend's face and though: I can't do this to her/him. I would smile and say, 'Yes'. Most of the time, although I just don't see the way they do and when they ask for an honest answer, I would say 'as long you're happy, I don't see why not.'

Sometimes they know they don't look good in the outfit or their hairs are out of place, etc., they just want a lie to make them feel better. I know, they know, it's a lie but we all cover up and say what the ears want to hear. I don't usually ask for an honest answer or opinion, I prefer to just do it my way and the hell with the others who object it. So when I DO ask for an honest answer, the answers are mostly honest. For example, my mom and my sister - oh, and my brother are my honest-telling-to-me people. If I need the truth, to them I go too. If I need a lie, I turn to someone like a friend who always think about others feelings.

I've seen when people gave an honest answer and other people's reaction would be: How can you say that?! Pity her/him! All of us will be evaluating this situation differently but to me, if what that person is doing or whatever is at is harmless, give that person a White Lie. If it's risky or something totally out of a fairy-tale-story-line, look at that person in the eye, tell the truth and WHY.

Oh yes, I do know LIES are not good and are forbidden, a white lie is still a lie; but if that's what it takes to make someone smile or let them be happy, I would white lie to them. I would lie so as long as it does not pass the limit and is reasonable. Cause trust me, if all I do is truth with no white lies in between, I'll be one lonely person without friends today.


p.s. The comment link is on top. I know, I was looking for it down here too.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Gimme A Break

I feel like a zombie. I have been waking up at 5 am, sleeping at 12am. Oh God, I can feel my eyes rolling at the back of my socket. Yes, mid-year exams. I'm exhausted. But I still have exams until 3rd June. Taking a break to blog before I doze off again.

Just sat for Physics paper. Paper 2 was like shit. Not to mention Add Maths. OMG, I'm gonna fail Add Maths. I just can't do Add Maths, I try my best to understand it but all I get is *crickets singing* Not even hoping for a B for Add Maths. Anyone who gets a B is a genius. Oh yess, it was a state government's exam paper so it was THAT hard.

Few people cried because they couldn't do the Add Maths paper. The others were slamming their hands and feet - sighing frustratingly. It was really a depressing scene. I had a migraine when I got home and just fell flat for 3 hours, not studying for the next day's paper.

Sheez, I can't wait for SPM to be over with and leave school. I'm so tired. So yeah, on Add Maths day was my BIRTHDAY ;'(

But then......


HAHHAHAH, my best buddies surprised me with a sweet little, party just for us. It wasn't grand and all but it was good enough :) I honestly didn't expect any of this and for them to buy cakes, foods and drinks were so thoughtful of them. I was so shocked! I was like 'wh...what----wh----' and just burst out laughing because I didn't know what to say!

My lovely friends. They just know how to make me smile :D


Me: You forgot my birthday :'(

Dad: No, I didn't. I just don't remember. Here, a Mentos & a Snicker's bar.

Awesome, isn't it? LMAO

I demanded my dad to teach me to drive since I'm not allowed to take my license til end of the year when my exams are finally over. My dad was doubtful but since I kept pressing on it, and told that my friend's dads taught them - he was like, 'Not in the housing area'. Woohooo, I heard driving's fun so hopefully, I'll finally be the driver this weekend.

There's so much I want to talk about but I'm just so tired. My eyes are failing me and it's only 5:50 pm :/ Thinking of grabbing a bar of Chocs and fall asleep on the couch. Hmm, maybe I'll come up with something else to talk about, a topic - haven't done that in a while. It's all bout what's going in my life and ugh, it's repetitive. Not cool.



Thursday, May 13, 2010

Rush! Rush! Rush!

Yea. I'm blogging.

So I'm not going to school tomorrow. Lazy. Tired. Plus, teachers aren't teaching in school since next week which is 18th May until 3rd of June, I'll be having my mid year exams! *faints* I'm not sure how am I gonna survive that long cause honestly, 2 to 3 exam papers daily will kill me. Literally.

Oh Mother of God, the only subject I really like and can do without a fuss is History. I know, how often do you hear students saying: I Love History! UGH, I hate hate hate hate Biology, Chemistry and ADD MATHS. Like, what the heck are you talking about? I mean, seriously, Formation of Urine? The basics is fine but getting down to the deep core facts and decorate it into some maze with 'colourful' terms is really not digesting in my brain.

I hate this kind of exams. When I mean, this 'kind', I mean instead of bombarding us with ALL 4 exams in fixed terms that will make us go bonkers...why can't they instead give weekly quizzes or short tests and assignments to be counted as marks? From my point of view, getting all 90% above in academics doesn't make you successful.

Well yeah. Some of you might argue with me but honestly, academic based exams. You just have to memorize, get the formula right, read the textbooks and WRITE THE ANSWERS. As long as the answer is matched with the marking scheme for the teachers, it's right. Don't talk, writeeeeee. Plus, these 4 termed exams are really depressing. If we get short tests every week, everyone will be studying everyday and it'll so really reduce stress.

I never liked exam fever.
Everyone has this mood and mask on. Including me.

Okay. I need a distraction.

I'm turning seventeen on the 25th of May
Graduate. Driving License. College.
YES, babey!

My guy friend was like: I used to think 17 was something but now it's nothing. What do you mean NOTHING? It's our senior year, we are SENIORS. Ruling part of the school and well, get heat up by end of the year but soon, we are freeeee!!!

OHMYGOD. And PROM! I've waited for nearly my whole life for that moment. I really can't wait! Pick out the dress with my girlfriends, go hairdo, nails done, make up done; everything done, done. We have sketched and visualized our prom dresses. It was so much fun! Sigh, I really can't wait cause that is the BIGGEST turning point of every senior when they graduate :)

This is the type of prom dress I want. But I want it in BLACK ;) I like one shoulder dress, I think it's super duper nice.

Wow, seems like I have a lot to do and a lot more to come. Some may say why rush? It's still a long way. If you're one of those, you really don't know the time of life. Look at me, I'm turning 17 soon and honestly, looking back I can't really remember being 7 years old. Next thing I know, I'll be behind the desk, working as my dad is now.

But after SPM, I want things to slow down a little. I want to drive around town with my friends, shop and hang out before everyone move on to their own paths. Some going to overseas and different colleges. And I want to study overseas! So far, California and Florida tops my list :) But there's only hope right now. It cost money.
Money, money, money.
Without it, the world would stop rotating.

Bummers. It's 11.40 pm. Have to wake up at 7am to revise for exams. No stress beats the stress of a student's life. Good night, folks


p.s. will be returning after 3rd of June :) wish me luck!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

My Shooting Star

Tomorrow's Mother's Day! We don't usually celebrate it BIG or anything like that but we do acknowledge it. I'm not sure what kind of relationships that any of you have with your mothers but everyone has that special bond between them & their moms.

I don't talk about feelings or discuss my private matter with my mom. Not that it's illegal but we just don't. We are the 'daughter' & 'mother' and not the 'best friends' type. So yeah, you can see where this lies at.

So I thought since I can't tell her face to face with both us HIGHLY, LIKELY to just close one eye and pretend it never happened. I would write her a blog letter here. I'm not going to tell her I did but I think it's good enough (:

Dear Mummy,

Happy Mother's Day! I really don't know what to give you this Mother's Day. I know you like those tiny pendant necklaces but I don't have the money. Yet. So I thought of something else that you want. Not gifts but maybe, from your children?

I know I'm not the perfect daughter. I can't iron the clothes to free-wrinkles, I can't do all the chores for you, I can't be the best student in the entire school who scores A's for every subject like how a few geniuses do it, I can't follow all the rules you set.

But I hold my tongue from saying hurtful words, instead I say, "Yes, Mummy." I don't smoke or skip school like how some other kids do it, not because only I'm afraid of getting into hot soup but I know you'll be disappointed. I study as hard as I can, I can't get ALL 10 A+ for my SPM, I know where I stand but I promise you I'll give the best that I ever had so I'll get to hear you say: I know you gave your best.

Though, I get annoyed with your sudden mood swings and tempers that drives me up the wall and when you scold me and not letting me defend myself. I'll go up to my room, shut the door for an hour before I come down back and act as if nothing happened. But I guess all moms are like that, right? Maybe someday I'll understand it and I'll be acting like you too.

I remember once when I was 9 years old and I had to memorize the times table (2x2=4) and I couldn't get it right. You made me stay with you up to 3 am, making sure I memorize perfectly without any flaw. You smack my hand with a ruler whenever I got it wrong. It was hell back then, I cried. I didn't know why you were doing this to me.

But after that, I could do my times for maths perfectly. I didn't need to count one by one or scratch my head during exam. It's already in my head until now. Some are still having trouble remembering their times table but because of you, I can sigh in deep relief.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I know that you love me and I do love you back. Even though I cause most of the troubles in the family, I think that you went through the same thing too. So, thank you, mummy for bringing me into this world and for all the things you done and given me. Thank you for caring me under all circumstances, soon it'll be the reverse order ;)

Love Truly,

your daughter,

Qamarina xoxo

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Tennis Players vs. Football Players

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I love him. I love him. I love him.

I'm watching Nadal playing against Gulbis in the semi-final. They are playing in Rome. I want to go there someday. ARGH, this Gulbis guy is good, though he's a new face but he beat Roger Federer! :O

NOOOOOO, Nadal, you must win! Please honey, I want you in the finals!

Yes. You read the title. Tennis players or footballers? I know most girls would be screaming 'FOOTBALLERS'!, hey, so would the boys. I like football, I'm a Manchester United fan :D But I'm not as eager or anxious when I watch a football match compared to a tennis game. I guess it has got to do with the one man show thing.

Honestly, tennis players to me, have the better qualities overall. Okay, so not ALL of them are drop dead gorgeous but they are all fit and charismatic. We don't see them ogling in clubs, like some drunk bastards in which many footballers are famous for. Plus I think the income of a tennis player sounds very much reasonable compared to a football player.

Not to mention the fiery headache of clubs fighting over a football player like Cristiano Ronaldo that time. Here's whispering this much of $$$ while the other side is offering another much of $$$. Not that I don't like football but I prefer the one man show kind of game where there's one coach, one player, one country. There - simple as that.

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awwwwww man, this tennis match tonight is pretty tough.Well, REALLY tough. I'm praying he wins this! LOL, it's obvious, isn't it that I love tennis players? I love tennis players. When they hit the ball with their rackets, it's like WHOA. Hot-ness flying through.

And they're like super TALL - HOMG and their girlfriends are all models. Not the hot ones like the footballer's girlfriends but the real beauty. That leaves me no chance :O I'm so mesmerized when they (especially Nadal) plays tennis, it's like watching them modeling. HAHAHAH. Yes. I love Nadal. Love him, love him, love him.

I want to meet Rafael Nadal :(( I gotta admit, I was HIGHLY influenced by my grandma. She's tennis player, yes, I know- her age; she's 64 years old. Still playing :D She's a HUGE fan of Nadal. LMAO, I think you know why by now. I understand the tennis game better than any sports game! And I think it's adorable when they let out their strains when they're playing. You would understand if you watch tennis (:

Tokio Hotel is in town here tonight performing! I like them, they're somewhat different. SIGH, I can't go, no tickets ;( Ah well, I guess I'll have my turn. SOON. I never been to a concert except for the Mamma Mia The Musical but it's not exactly a concert.

Nooooooooooooo, my Nadal is going down the hill. I have to cheer him on! Yeah yeah, he's in Rome but that's what the TV is for, right? I wish you all a fabulous weekend, XOXO

p.s. Iron Man 2 was REALLY AWESOME. You have to watch it!