Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Never Ask Google

I had this problem before but I never blogged about it cause I thought it only happened to me. Like, how would anyone understand since I thought it only happened to me. Until I was tweeting that I found out someone had a problem too!


It happened a few months ago to me. As I type on the keyboard, little ants will running across the keyboard, the screen and I have to squash these little creatures with my fingertips. Seriously, get lost, dudes. My laptop, my little home. Yours is OUT at the garden!

Ant A: I'll race you to the end.

Ant B: We'll get crush, mate.

Ant C: What, you scared?

Ant B: *grrr* LET'S RACE!!!

*crush* *squash* *smudge* *die* *die* *die* *smack*

I tried Google, oh boy, no wonder they said that Google knows everything. So the 1st thing I typed in was : 'Why is there'
and then drops down a menu bar with the first TOP searched line -

'Why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch?'

*silence* Why would you want to ask Google that? Why ask Google "why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch?" You shot him, I suppose? Like seriously, I had to pause for a moment before I could re-focus back to what I'm really searching for.

So the results came out and I concluded that ants actually like the warm environment around the laptop. The longer you on, the warmer it gets, the more likely ants would make your laptop as its nesting territory :OO

How to solve it? Google said VACUUM IT. You expect me to to use some gigantic plastic to suck out ants from my thousands $$$ baby? Google your head.

Put a cup of honey beside your laptop to lure the ants away. But what if they take the honey and bring it back to my laptop? Then I'll end up with ants bathe in honey.

Put your laptop under the sun. Errr, wont that just increase the temperature and therefore, more ants living in it?

Yeah. You know it. Don't listen to Google when it comes to solving problem. To solve the ants problem? Get those cooler based fans and place it beneath your laptop. No need for vacuum, honey, sweets, baits, surgery, plasters...just don't listen to Google, okay?

I typed in 'Is' at Google and the moment I space bared, these came out:

Is Lady Gaga a man?

Is Megan Fox a man?

Is Justin Bieber dead?

Awwww, COME ON!


Disguise said...

Is Justin Beiber Dead? HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sorry about the ants, you should really do something about that!

AQ said...

Really? I've never had that problem. Hmm. But the questions that came up were hilarious. Hehe. Oh and I think the fan thing is a much better idea than vacuuming. The honey was downright weird. What if you forget why the honey was there and ate some? Ugh.

QM said...

@Disguise: I knowww, I was like wtf? Seriously?

@AQ: They gave really dumb solutions. I was so dumbfounded to ever ask Google again

Thousif Raza said...

you really can find some silly and funny stuff on google, loved the post..... strikes where it should.... :)

nice one :)

take care and keep writing............

Huda Merchant said...

LOL Thats funnyy.. pakistani on the couch? how retarded are people! hahaha i loved this post ;-)

陳逸群 said...


QM said...

@Thousif: HAHAHA, yes, we can. Thank you(:

@Huda: I KNOWW, I literally lmao when I saw that!