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Friday, July 30, 2010

RAWR!










It's Freaking Friday! YEAYY! Ohh, how I love Fridays :) Don't you? I mean, it's like the last weekday of every week and the next day is Saturday. I don't have to do any homework today because I don't have school tomorrow. Ah, peace. Ohmmm...ohhhmmmm....

I have the best of friends anyone could ever ask for. Since the first time I moved here, which means I have been staying here for a good 3 years, my friends and I, we never fought :) Seriously. We might have pick on little stuff but it was more of the type of petty things we all do with our siblings. We never fought over a guy, we never back-stab, we never cheated on each other, we never had cat fights with each other - I don't want to jinx this at all but it just feels so great knowing I have true, best friends like them. Knowing that no matter what, they'll stick by my side.

I LOVE YOU, babes! I love you all from your heads to your toes!
I hope in 30 years time, when we look back, we'll still be as tight knitted as we are now <3


I am so looking forward this weekend. Why? Well, weekends are usually the days where things happened and no routines are involved! I hate routines. That's why I hate school most of the time - sit in class the WHOLE day, waiting for the teachers to enter and open the book and get quarantine in the class for half of the day!

I want to travel the world! Go backpacking for Euro Trip with my girlfriends. Explore the real world, learn different stuff. Be surprised, fall in love, fall from the sky - hit the ground, get back up and say, 'I'm gonna fly that sky!'

OHMYGAWD. I just love it when people make me laugh! There's this person who never fails to make me laugh whenever we're talking. It just gives me this light feeling. You make everything around me at the moment happy :) THANK YOU. You're one in a million.

Technically, I just love people who makes me laugh.
Heck, I must love a LOT of people then
;D


Sunday, July 25, 2010

Take A Leap In Faith



Such a great movie.
I absolutely love it


I watched The Last Song. You know, Nicholas Sparks wrote the book and it became a best selling book and ALL of his books make people cry because it's so pure and sad. Yes, I cried when I watched the movie. I watched it with my sister and we both ended up crying. I cried more when I read the book! I think books are more emotional since we could literally create our own movie of it. Still, it's the reason why I have a love-hate relationship for movies like that.

I watched Inception too. OHMYGAWD. It's the BOMB! Hahahha, seriously, watch it if you haven't. It's like THE movie of the year. I'm in love with the movie and so are the people who have watched it ;) The movie took about 3 hours and the moment I got out from the cinema, I was mentally exhausted and drained. That movie really require you to think and imagine and of course, dream (you'll get it if you have watched it).

You're waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You can't be sure where it will take you. But it doesn't matter, because we'll be together. - Inception



Hmph. Have you ever been through to a point where you just don't know whether to trust yourself anymore? My heart is telling me to believe in it and keep holding on but my brain is lashing out all these logical reasons and scenarios where I completely lose my way, like right now.

It's so CONFUSING and LAME and PATHETIC and ANNOYING and FRUSTRATING.

Sometimes I wish it was all black and white so I can get the answer, not some maybe yes, maybe no, I don't know answers. At times, I just ignore it but how long can I ignore something when I really care and crave for it? Is it possible to just close one eye, push it aside and move on like what most people do? I can't do that. I can't. I can't just run away. I need it but at the same time, I'm not sure if it needs me too.

As they say, if it's meant to be, it'll find its way. So I guess I'll just have to hang in there...for how long? I don't know but currently, I think I can manage it. Hopefully I can, I'm keeping the faith. You know what's the best part? People keep asking me why do I keep holding on when it's the only thing that can break me into pieces, the reason is - It's the only thing that makes me smile for no reason ;)



Thursday, July 22, 2010

I Like It,


I have been having 2 bad mood days in a row. I don't know why. I feel depressed, miserable and upset. No, I'm not cutting myself but I feel like I'm drowning myself.


So I've come up with this list of 'what I like' to make me feel better. It's very random and since writing out things make me feel better, I shall do it!


I like chocolates, though it makes me fat.
I like green eyes people, so hot 8O
I like you, yes you.
I like to wear the colour green.
I like quotes, they are awesome.
I like Westlife, they are even awesome.
I like girls.
I like boys too.
I like cursive writings, I think it's beautiful.
I like beaches and nature, MORE beautiful.
I like the fact that I cross your mind <3
I like when you start the talk first.
I like when people say 'How's life' cause honestly, I have no idea.
I like Adam Lambert a lot.
I like Bill Klaulitz a lot lot.
I like Chace Crawford a lot lot lot.
I like my iPod Touch and laptop.
I like the way you tease, I never get annoyed.
I like hard cover books!
I like reading.
I like shopping, all girls do :)
I like my girlfriends, they're all parts of me.
I like my parents, though they annoy me 99.999999% of the time.
I like to blog :D
I like when you call me that, it made me smile the whole day.
I like British accents.
I like candies, Imma sweet tooth.
I like rainbows and clouds, they look so happy.
I like sun dresses, they look happy too.
I like to talk to you, you make me smile.
I like to be with you, would you let me?
I like to call people 'sweetheart', I like that calling name.
I like to google for vintage photography.
I like to imagine where would I end up in a few years.
I like to say that I love you if I could.

I like the fact you are reading this :)



Sunday, July 18, 2010

Keep The Dreams Alive


SO EXHAUSTED.

SO WORN OUT.

BUT, I'M HAPPY :)




You know what I feel like doing right now? I feel like leaving everything behind and travel the world. Yes, travel this amazing world called Earth. I would love to travel to places that have beaches and beautiful scenaries like Ireland. Yes, Ireland! I've been craving to go to Ireland since young!

Why? Hahaha, I love that band, Westlife (don't you dare bash them, I grew up with them) and when I learn that they are Irish, I was like I love Ireland! HAHA, well I was young back then but now, seeing the photos online and the movie 'Leap Year', plus my friend went to Ireland for a month! And gagagaga, it's so freaking beautiful. The scenaries there are just breathtakingly awesome.

I mean, I do like cities like shopping and malls and Starbucks but I would go for nature any day :') I love cottages, old roads, rocks, beaches, simple roads...I like simple things. I don't need grand things in order to keep me happy. Sure I would love fancy dresses but at the end, I just want to sit back and relax as I enjoy a simple life. Get good grades, enter college, travel the world, marry my perfect guy, settle down and yeaaahh...hahaha, don't lie, we all do it - a scoop into the future.


isn't it prettyyyyy!

People keep saying DREAM BIG! but what if I don't want to dream big? What if I want to dream small? You know, I just want a simple dream and not those deep dream. Does that mean I have to aim to become a President to call that dream big? What if my dream is to be happy everyday and be with the one I love - is that dream big or does that considered small?

It had me thinking, we all have different dreams that lead us to different paths. Where we would each experience different things, bump into different people and conclude different conclusions but in the end, we all do have dreams ;)

Right now, I'm content with my life. I am happy with what I have now but it hasn't reach that bar of what I'm aiming at...hey, it needs time, haha. I just hope things get better in my life from now and heading to the directions I want. Pray, pray, pray and HOPE. I hate to get my hopes down, I really do hate it cause it really shatters me. I have one really BIG HOPE I'm holding onto now, I HOPE it won't go down. Pray and hope for me, will ya?

Crap, I haven't done my Biology reports yet. Need to hand them by tomorrow! UGH, I hate Mondays, don't you? I love weekends :'( Have a great Monday, people!


Friday, July 16, 2010

Military, anyone?


OMFG. OMFG. OMFG.

The results are out! I'm not talking about exams. I'm talking about the National Service! It is a 3 months military like camp for form 5 students after SPM but only the chosen ones.

I sent the sms to check whether I'm chosen or not and I got a reply: HARAP MAAF, anda tidak dipilih untuk menyertai KUMP 3 siri 08/2011 PLKN. (Translation: Sorry but you're not chosen for the 3rd batch to join the 8th National Service 2011). Which means, I STILL HAVE A CHANCE OF GETTING INTO THE 1st or 2nd batch! ARGHHHH!!

Well, some of them say that National Service or better known as NS is actually not that bad. During that 3 months, you'll be facing this all sort of military trainings, torture, cold showers, ragging (shit man) and all those stuff.

Most of my friends got chosen so I'm doubtful about should I go or not. I mean, it's once in a lifetime experience so it's kinda urging for me to go but seriously, military style camp for 3 months?

I had my plans worked out about what I want to do after SPM. Get a job, work and earn money while waiting for colleges to take in students. Have fun with my friends, shop, laugh, movie marathons and so much more :D But I guess life isn't really meant for us to planned out. It just comes in and gives you one big rock which you don't know what to do with it.

You guys can google up the interent about this National Service or just type in 'Khidmat Negara' if you still can't really understand since some of you are not from Malaysia :) My seniors told me it's HELL for the first few weeks, TORTURE in the middle and FUN at the last 2 weeks. FML man.

Wake up 5:30 in the morning and sleep by 1 or 2 :/ This is my problem, I love to sleep too much. And cold showers! ARGH! Soooo not my cup of tea man :( Buttttt it sounds so much fun...though it's like torture fun. Lol, these are some pics I found and FYI, all the officers are retired army corporals so, they are like tough tough. No joke, seriously -_-

COME ON! TELL ME ALREADY IF I AM IN OR NOT! DONT LEAVE ME HANGING HERE!!
This sucks man.







Saturday, July 10, 2010

Secrets That Made Me Cry




You know those endless times when you keep thinking you life sucks and FML so on. Well, I'm one of those people. I grunt and complain even about the tiniest and pettiest thing. I curse a lot, get down easily and bored easily. I'm trying to change myself to a better person. Now I'm starting off with an optimistic thinking. You know, hope, think and strive for the positive.

I was reading this site Six Billion Secrets and OMG, I cried and cried and cried. Please open and read this site and you'll read and know what I mean. I just cried.

Someone posted this:

I wish one day someone would say to me those 3 words.

Those 3 words I've waited so long to hear, that I'm almost bursting.

Those 3 words that probably don't mean a lot to other people.

I wish someone would say 'Are you okay?' to me.


Another person:

I'm the only one in my class who is still a virgin.

They all think I'm pure and waiting till I find someone special to share it with but the truth is I'm just like the rest of them.

My dad stole it when I was young...


And there's more secrets posted by people around the world. It's just so sad and a wake up call for me. That I'm lucky that I have people who care for me. I have a mom who scolds me because she loves me, I have a dad who lectures me because he wants the best for me, I have friends who stand by me because they believe in me, I have my life in me because I'm lucky.

Before this, I used to think my life is some typical teen life. But when I read some of the secrets from some teenagers, I wanted to so badly let them have part of my life instead of going through that agony and sorrow.

I wish I could meet up with these every person who says they want to kill themselves so I could hug them, stop them, talk to them and make them realize life is beautiful. I want to be there for every single one of them even though I never met them. I want to make them smile and say: Yeah, that's a stupid idea of me killing myself.

If any of you are thinking of committing suicide, depressed or feeling that nobody cares for you, please remember there ARE still people out there who cares. I care. Those who reply back to your secrets care. Shout it out to the world, there's always hope. There's so much ahead of you. Live through it, you can do it. And you'll have my prayers with every step you take :)

You are loved, cared and special. Just so you know. Everyone is and that includes you.


Friday, July 9, 2010

Saturday, July 3, 2010

I'll Make It Out




I made it through without a scratch. They keep talking, I keep nodding. Ah well, I'll live through it. Nothing's impossible, right? ;D

OMG. BRAZIL IS OUT!!! ARGHHHH!! My heart literally broke, seriously. I've been watching the World Cup matches and seen teams getting kicked out but Brazil :'(( I wanted them to be in the finals, though they are my 2nd favourite team. I'm an Argentina fan until the end! ARGENTINA, please win against Germany tonight! DON'T LOSE OUT! We need you in the finals!

Speaking of Argentina, don't you think Maradona should stop jumping every few seconds? His midget height on top of that annoys me with that horrible beard. Just sayin'.

It's July, already! Like wtf-wth-you-are-kidding-me right?! Time pass by so fast and so many things happened this year. Both sweet and bitter memories. The best memory I've had so far this year is during the UIA debate :) My friends and I totally entered a different phase that we never knew before. It was such a thrilling experience, meeting new people from ALL OVER MALAYSIA :D And ohh, not forgetting some really 'interesting' people too.

And the bitter memory...well, if you've been reading my blog. You would've known. Hahahaha.

SPM! I'm so worried man :( It's like the biggest exam of any student's life! You fail SPM, you fail to go to college. You do badly in SPM, you get no good college. But I'm not the academic star kind of student, you know? The only thing I'm really good at is History and memorizing things. I'm thinking of taking up Law :) Never ever will I take another science field again -_- Sheesh, it's maddening with geeks. LOL.

Currently, I'm dealing all sort of things in my life but I'll manage it somehow without overdoing it. I'm still holding on to it, though - HOPE. Yeah, it always sucks to keep on hoping but that's what keeps us living, ain't it?




I was on the phone -_-



Thursday, July 1, 2010

FMYLIFE




Hey there, I'm back and I literally had one of the worst day of my life since God knows. I don't feel like going into detail, much of blogging it though I'm pretty sure you all want to know what happened. But it's really that horrible that I wished not to ever acknowledge of it anymore. Let's just say...I had to hold my tears and brave up in school; by the moment I reached home, I rushed to the shower to bathe and cried.

Crying does make you feel better. Let it all out and sleep for a few hours.

OMG, it was fucking horrible, okay. Don't you hate it when people can't talk to you nicely or even show respect to you? Fine, you have some grudge and issues with me but hey, I have a mouth and ears too. Let me say my side and I'll listen to yours. I'm a human just as you are, have some respect and don't use those vulgar languages(you can't imagine it).

I was hurt. I was shocked. I was angry. But most of all, I felt sorry. Not to myself but to them. Many of those I thought and called friends seemed to be strangers now but there are a few whom I expected more, though they proved me wrong. I was more than hurt, I felt betrayed. But maybe those are the type of friends who will be there when you're smiling and having that rainbow over your head only. But I soon come to ease as it's not the first time I came across this type of friends, moreover I have true friends who stood by me and care to listen without doubting me.

Respect is another issue. If you can't respect yourself or others, please do not expect people to respect you. Simple as that. Maybe some people would close one eye when they see someone disrespecting others but to me, that's worst humiliation anyone can ever get. Especially when it is a men disrespecting a girl, honestly, how low can you go? Men should never hit women. Men should never abuse women, physically or verbally. Not that women can do that to men but living in this current world, I assume you all know what's going on.

So yeah. I had a fucked up day. Really, really fucked up day. Worse, the person whom I needed the most during that time, wasn't there. FML man. But you know what, I'm still living, I'll get through this, eventually. I'm better off without them. Just ignore them and live life to the fullest.


My conclusion: Maybe God throws all these FML moments to spice up our lives. I mean, who likes to live a dull life. Right?


P.S. Yeah, maybe I'm just trying to make myself to feel better. LOL