Friday, December 31, 2010

It's a New Year!

It's been a great year. 2010 had taught and given us a lot.
There have been bittersweet memories that changed quite a lot of things, mainly ourselves.
But I wouldn't change any bit of it. I'm pretty much happy being the person I am now.
I'm looking forward for 2011. Start college and leave my school years as my golden days.
Can I cope with it? I'm not sure but that's what I said in 2010 and...I made it.
So, I hope that 2011 will be a better year for all of us and the world.
Less hate, more love. Less wars, more peace.

Happy New Year, everyone! Have a wonderful 2011 :)

Wednesday, December 29, 2010


An ending is near and a new beginning is about to begun. Like for every 365/366 days.

Same old routine but always with new hopes, new dreams and new desires. Best part, none of them usually meet our expectations. We end up disappointed and decide to have a new resolution again and again.

So all I ask for 2011 is just to be better than 2010.

In 2010, I have:

1. Meet and made new friends.
2. Fought and made ex-friend(s).
3. Went through real debates tournaments and finally won ;)
4. Grew closer with my girlfriends.
5. Learn not to fall for pretty words.
6. Understand that school life is fun, even though it's a pain in the ass.

I'm turning 18 soon. School is officially over for me. My siblings are going to start a new school year next Monday and I can't help but to feel left out. Sure, soon-to-be college life sounds great. I can drive, wear normal clothes, arrange my own schedule but I'll miss those moments when those guys in the back make stupid jokes whenever a 'specific' teacher passes by. Not to mention, the loud noises and shouts when the recesses bell rings. Or when I'll just sit at a few tables with my friends and start talking non-stop when the teacher is absent.

Dammit. I miss school.

But we all have to grow up and keep on moving. All my friends are heading to different colleges ;-( I know, we'll meet up whenever we can on weekends and shop and hang out. But it's going to be different. I won't have them beside me or behind me as usual in classes, where they'll whisper something in my ear and I'll laugh, ending up being called up by the teacher to repeat what she had just said. *face palm*

I can't wait for college. Start my A-levels. Meet new people and at the same time, keep my high school friends close to me. Time is such a cruel yet priceless thing.

So in 2011, I hope for a better year than 2010. I want to be happier. Wiser. More patient. More hardworking. I want to be better. I want 2011 to be a fun and wild journey, just like my 2010 had been for me. Just more fun and wilder!

thank you, for always being there for me

keep on chasing, never ever stop.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Admit It


It sucks, doesn't it? When you care for someone and in the end, their reply is "I don't care." You care for some people because you care for them. You don't need to tell them that I care for you, they would know by the things you do. What's even horrible is that they won't tell you that they don't care for you, instead they simply shrug or chose to ignore. So, you give and you lose. You hurt and you bleed. You fall and you cry. You sit and you hope.

And you rot.

Look, if they don't care for you, what makes you think that they'll come and search for you in the dark? If you can care that much for people, you can care at least some for yourself. Stand up and walk again. Don't lose hope but be more wise. Learn and grow. The pain won't really go away, you would get over it but once in a while, you get flashbacks and your heart drops a little. But hey, that happens, right? At least, you know you DID truly care for those people.

Yes, it hurts to see when they care for other people and not you. It makes you feel unworthy and pathetic. You feel stupid when you think back of all the things you have done but nothing in the past will ever change. Put it this way: You FELT unworthy and pathetic. You FELT stupid when you think back of all things you HAD done. Now, you live your life, caring for the right people who in turn have been around you all along.

Don't stop caring, don't be afraid to care. You're hurt once but you'll live through it.

Merry Christmas, everyone! xoxo

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Don't Regret, Don't Stop

Dear Santa, all I want for Chrismtas is
to have a good & wonderful 2011.

I don't celebrate Christmas as big as I celebrate other festivals. Financially, I shop a lot...well, I WANT to shop a lot since Christmas sales are on right now at every big shopping malls. My heart bled when I couldn't buy that floral print dress from ZARA. Gosh, I can't wait to start working part time next month(even though I'm sure I'll hate working) but at least, I can earn my own money and shop.

I'm a shopaholic.

2010 is coming to an end. I still can't believe I have finished my school life already. Looking back at my old posts, back when I was still a school girl, brings tears of both joy and sadness. It's a mix up feeling. I'm not sure if I quite like it but I guess there is just some things are left in the grey area for us. But...I did it :) when I clearly thought I could die by going through it.

In each year that passes, we make more and more mistakes. Because as we grow, we learn new things and broaden our perspective of life. Right now, it's the time for my friends and I to make critical decisions in our lives.

The most frequently asked question: "What do you want to do?"

ARGH. I don't know! I mean, yes, of course I have some visions of me in the future. I love writing and books but that doesn't mean I will end up becoming a writer. I could end up being a professor in some university. This is life. There is so many possibilities. Honestly, I believe that no matter how much we planned or how long we planned, there will always be a little twist in everything. We just got to accept it.

People are afraid to make mistakes. They are afraid that what they decide now will affect them greatly later in life. I got those "are you sure you want to do that" remarks when I say I want to do Arts for A-levels. *SIGH*

Firstly, I am sure. If not, I won't be saying 'I want'.

Secondly, if everybody is taking Science, what's going to happen to the Arts? Just because it doesn't involve needles and chemicals, doesn't make it any less cooler or lame. Arts, Language, Literature are what keeps the world a happier, more peaceful and colourful place to live in.

Thirdly, do what you love. I'm doing what I love and THAT is right.

It may seem scary to choose but in the end, we all have to decide. It's better for you to decide for your ourselves than letting others to. Nobody knows what you want like you do. I believe this is the time for us to make mistakes. So what if what you decide now doesn't seem to be like what you had wanted? We can't always have things to our ways only, it just doesn't work like that. I think in a way, it teaches us to be patient and not to take things too seriously at times.

When we make mistakes, we learn from it without knowing. It hurts, it sucks but you have to go through it every phases of life. Okay. So maybe, it's never what you really wanted but you will end up in the right place that is meant for you, eventually. What take the highway when you can take those long, curvy roads? I rather take my life slowly with full of surprises than taking it fast, with everything planned out working the way it is...and not fully appreciating everything I see.

Life is an extraordinary book. It's book with no beginning and no endings. It just keeps on going and going. So, good grades and a good job is just a small part of life. We have to change our perspective of life, don't look at it as an academic, we have to make mistakes and just enjoy life.

Don't stop at a place for too long. Keep on moving with the world.

Monday, December 13, 2010


The world is such a big place for us to live in. Too many possibilities, too many what-if's.

I wish I could just flashback and relive those moments I have long missed. Those times when everything seemed right, when laughter and long talks were the only things we do.

If time machine exists, I would turn back time and be a little girl again. Right now, I didn't know why back then, I wanted to grow up so fast. I thought being a woman would be fun. Now, looking at little kids, I wonder if they are thinking the way I did when I was their age.

Sharanya, Ina, Alliya, Divya and Sze Yan; school's over and we're going to different paths. I hope nothing between us change. Let's grow up together and no matter how far we may be, we have to meet up and be school girls all over again.

Sometimes I just pause and think "what happened?" Maybe we just outgrow sometimes, or need something new. But I guess there'll always be somethings in life that I'll never ever find out. Maybe some thing are better left unsaid.

Chocolate is the universal food. Amin.

Things change, people change. Cry for a day and get over it. The world won't stop spinning for you. So the best you can do is hope for the best to come and be strong.

"Make the clock reverse. Bring back what once was mine."

"My dearest Cinderella, I'm the luckiest prince to be marrying you."

Don't frown, you never know might be falling for your smile.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


OMG. OMG. I thought this day would never come...but it did!


Well, I still one last subject to take next Wednesday but that is really not an important one - I don't have to study it :) 9 freaking subjects I've taken. I have sat for 21 freaking papers - and I SURVIVED! I kinda may sound like I'm overreacting but SPM is like the peak point for every student's life and for me, to have finally get over it after 17 years - it's just PURE RELIEF.

Yeayy! Now I can take my license (driveeee), no more school uniform, no more daily assembly. I'm going to miss school though :( Miss sitting together and fooling around with my classmates. We really grew up together despite not being related together. I'm looking forward to college but after 11 years of being in school, I think nothing can ever beat school.

There's so much to do, so much to expect and so much to experience.

And 2010 is coming to an end.

Time flies too fast sometimes. I still remember the first day I stepped into secondary school, hahaha, OMG - I was naive! I think we all were once, then we grew up and think back, "WHAT THE HELL MAN?!"

2010 has been a fairly good year :) Had one of the best experience in my life and definitely, the year I'm going to keep looking back. One day we're all together, the next day we're off in separate ways pursuing our dreams. I don't think we'll lose touch - Facebook is here to connect us but of course, things would change but I hope it's all for the better.

Gonna grab my KFC now, super duper hungry.