Friday, January 7, 2011

Looking Back

we always try to defy gravity.
defy things to stay the same.

Looking back, I would not know how to describe it. Funny? Happiness?
I don't know.

What if we could zoom into the future and see where we ended up, what happened later - maybe we could escape whatever painful memories that are buried clearly in our minds. We could see those who are truly there for us, we would know what's the better decision, we would know what to say, we would know what is bound to happen. But really, is because we don't want anything to change.

If I knew it will changed, into something that has become so foreign to me, then maybe I could avoid it. Life without aches, sadness, anger and disappointment is surely better, right? No tears, just laughter. No aches, just wonders.

So I keep on thinking about it. What if I could have avoid it. What if I was more careful. What if I was stronger. Would I still have these bitter memories?

The truth is, I'll never know. Life is filled with possibilities.

I'm closing that old chapter that I keep re-opening over and over because I keep looking back when life keeps moving forward and I'm always 2 steps behind. I'm sealing that chapter like I have sealed the others, so that, for once I can stop asking myself, 'What if?'

Looking back, I feel sad but I don't regret it.

In fact, I wish you all the very best.

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