Saturday, February 19, 2011

I Regret.

Have you ever had a sudden flashback of the past, out of the blue? About the things you did, the things you wished you have done and the things that changed everything. A sudden wave of mixed feelings gather up inside of you and all you could think is: "Why?"

Regret. How I hate this word.

Most of the time, I regretted the things that I didn't do. I regretted the times when I left my words unspoken. Sometimes I look back and wonder, what if I have done that back, what would have been different? But it all comes to back to assumptions of what could have been in so many possible ways...and it'll always be 'what could have been'. And, it sucks. Big time.

Maybe if I had the courage back then, things would be different now. Though I have to say, nothing has really changed either right now. I'm still holding back on some things now; words, feelings and thoughts. When I can't, I try my best to push those 'disturbances' away. The truth is I'm tying to run away from myself, to get away as far as possible. Pathetic, isn't it?

Then, there are things that I regretted doing. Back then, it may have seem the right thing to do or how I felt at that time but when I took a step back and view from where I am now, I can't believe what I have did. Everything starts to flow, coming to their pieces slowly - showing me how foolish I had been and definitely, how naive I was. Whenever I take a step and move forward, I can't help but wanting to go back and make it all better. Sigh. But I know I can't. What's done is done. There's so much a person can do but I guess, that's life.

I keep telling myself "I would not repeat this ever again". Guess what? I still do, until this very moment. I would say it, I would do it but there is always seems to be a bar right on top of me, that maximize how far I can go. Still, there are things that....I can just never ever say. Those little things that I keep a secret to myself only.

It comes to a point where sometimes I cry out of the blue, when the emotions get too over-whelming. But I'll be alright the next minute with laughters and smiles, because I realized life does not wait for you - and I want to live.

And so, I live with the regrets.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

40 Extraordinary Things Happening Right Now

Right Now, at this very moment...

  1. A soldier of sorts is diligently fighting the fight so you don’t have to.
  2. Someone who suffered from a severe injury last year is back on their feet.
  3. A small group of people are building something that will soon make the impossible possible.
  4. Somewhere on Earth a double rainbow is stretched from one end of the horizon to the other.
  5. One of the next Billboard-chart-topping musical artists is patiently rehearsing in her garage.
  6. A piece of literature is being written that will eventually change your perspective on life.
  7. Young children all over the world are singing and dancing before they even realize there is anything that isn’t music.
  8. A friend is helping a friend rise above thoughts of suicide.
  9. Someone is thinking what you’re thinking, but hasn’t said anything yet either.
  10. Two people in your hometown are falling in love.
  11. Somewhere someone is admiring a breathtaking sunrise, and somewhere else a surreal sunset.
  12. People of various religious backgrounds are in temples, churches, mosques and other places of worship praying, wholeheartedly, for world peace.
  13. Someone who has struggled with their weight for the last several years is standing on a scale and smiling.
  14. Hundreds of cute elderly couples are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
  15. A baby girl just took her first few steps without falling.
  16. Two best friends are laughing so hard they aren’t even making any noise.
  17. A future world leader is in grade school at recess.
  18. Someone is in the process of sincerely forgiving a seemingly unforgivable act.
  19. There’s a kid studying hard somewhere who aspires to get to where you are in life.
  20. A firefighter is running into a burning building to rescue a perfect stranger.
  21. Someone in your vicinity genuinely wants to be your friend.
  22. A young mom is lying in a hospital bed and holding her newborn baby twins for the very first time.
  23. Someone is taking a shower and singing happily at the top of their lungs.
  24. There is someone out there who smiles when they think of a specific moment they once shared with you.
  25. An alcoholic just celebrated one full year of sobriety.
  26. Volunteers in major cities all over the world are working at homeless shelters caring for those who are less fortunate than themselves.
  27. A young man is pulled over on the side of the road helping a young woman change a flat tire.
  28. A high school athlete just broke her own personal record.
  29. Two teenagers just received their very first kiss ever from each other.
  30. A husband and wife who were drowning in debt five years ago proudly hold a balance of zero on their credit cards.
  31. Someone is hugging a friend who desperately needs it.
  32. A new small business owner just wrapped up his first profitable year working for himself.
  33. A grandfather is holding his granddaughter’s hand and they’re both smiling from ear to ear.
  34. Someone just placed their spare change in the charity collection cup at the grocery store.
  35. A small group of friends are sitting around a table sharing funny stories and cheerfully reminiscing about the good old days.
  36. A breast cancer patient just found out her cancer is in complete remission.
  37. Someone out there is missing you and looking forward to your next visit.
  38. Honest people are working for various government entities to help protect your basic human rights and civil liberties.
  39. An emergency room surgeon is in the middle of saving his patient’s life.
  40. Someone is holding the door open for the person behind them.

Right now is a new beginning. Right now is an opportunity.

Do something extraordinary.

Isn't the world just amazing?