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Saturday, April 30, 2011

BitterSweet



MAROON 5 CONCERT WAS AWESOME

fucking awesome.

And totally ten times better than Justin Bieber's concert. One thing I really like about Maroon 5 concert was that they, especially Adam Levine interacted a lot with the crowd. So it did not seem like a 5 men band playing on stage but a good 3,000 people rocking it out all together.

ADAM LEVINE, Y U SO HOT?!? MARRY ME, PLEASEEEEEEE!!!



Have you noticed that today is the last day of April? 4 months have just passed by and it is almost I did not get to catch any time of it. I have never been so desperate to pause time or just make time slow down....just for a while.

It makes me miss being a kid. I miss being a single digit years old. I miss being a little girl. I miss that innocent look I had. I miss the time when the only thing I knew were laughters and tears. I miss being a kid.

Why did I want to grow up so fast? What did I find so fascinating of being a grown up as a kid? Power? Freedom? Now that I am here, I feel like going back 10 years before and tell myself - "don't grow up so fast. Don't."


I miss playing all day.

I miss laughing over petty things.

I miss crying over a bump on my knee.

I miss being carried by my dad.

I miss being cuddled by mum.

I miss playing those role-play games with my sister.

I miss when none of use judged each other.

I miss when boys and girls were just the same.

I miss watching Disney movies every now and then.

I miss when I still believe in those fairytales.

I miss being a kid.





Being a kid is wonderful



Saturday, April 23, 2011

I think I got that 'FEVER'




I am not a Belieber. I do not hate him nor do I love him. I don't cry over him because he won't follow me on Twitter nor do I tear every picture of him to pieces. I am just not a Beliber lover or a hater.

But hell yeah, I went to his concert in Kuala Lumpur. I didn't think of going to his concert at all, mainly because I don't listen to his music and I'm not a fan of him. However, my sister wanted to go to his concert - badly. So my dad decided to buy the tickets and I had to follow her. I did not know what to expect at all.

We were there an hour earlier and the crowd was already screaming and shouting, "Bieber! Bieber! BIEBER!" I thought I would go mad because every time a part of the crowd screams, everyone would get up and stand on their chairs - and every time, it's a false alarm!

The DJ got everyone warmed up first by playing some hit party songs. The lights went out and everyone, literally - EVERYONE started jumping on the ground, on the chairs! With their hands in the air and singing to the chorus of every songs. The crowd's energy was magnifying and incredible! "I say 'Justin', you say 'Bieber'....Justin!" "BIEBEEEERRRRRR!!" For the record, I didn't join shouting his name because I really couldn't scream the way the girls around me screamed :|

After a 15 minutes countdown, JB appeared. Thecrowd went wild. WILD. Like WILD. I actually laughed because I thought it was rather funny at how the crowd reacted when JB appeared on stage. I clapped when he appeared (see, I'm not that bad).

Honestly speaking, his concert was amazing. It was incredible. I did not expect that he was capable of throwing and bringing such energy to a concert. I was shocked. I was, okay! He was good live, he could sing well - which I doubted before. So Justin, hats off for you as a performer and entertainer but I am still not in love you :P but I don't hate you.

OHH! Did I mention JOEL MADDEN made an appearance too?! He sang The Anthem and OHMYGOD, that part I SCREAMEEEDDDD! Good Charlotte is hereeee! Okay, one man only but heck! It's Joel Madden! And he appeared only at the JB's KL concert!I feel so blessed :") And man, Joel could sing so well. Love the voice and the tattoos (though they kinda scare me).


The crowd sang a long the nursery rhyme 'ABC' when a slide show of JB as a kid was being played and he was singing that. Talk about awkward moment.....I wonder if we were the first crowd to ever sing along to that! Hahahaha, it was so funny but everyone seemed to enjoy singing to it.

I had fun jumping and screaming along with the crowd. It was a true concert where nobody sat down and everyone stood up and sang along and screamed for more. Even some guys with their girlfriends did that. Though, some of them gave that look of 'what-the-hell-are-you-possesed' or something look. LOL.

At the end of the day, I am glad that I went to Justin Bieber's concert. He may not come again, I mean, who knows, right? I don't have his CD and I don't have his songs on my phone but if he throws a concert again in Malaysia, I am coming again. I will!

So, next concert is MAROON 5!!! HELL YEAH! Next Friday! :D I cannot wait!

Let's pray that it would be as good or better than Bieber's concert. Hehehe.


PS. I am a big fan of Maroon 5!




Sunday, April 10, 2011

Listen.




I didn't know it was possible to be in crowd yet still so alone. Worst part? This feeling always come out of the blue. Nothing happened. I'm perfectly fine, maybe happy or just alright but within a blink of an eye, I just come tumbling down.

I don't show it. I keep that smile and laugh on my face. I keep it until I don't even know when I'm pretending and when I'm real. Sounds depressing? Probably. The thing is the only way I can express myself without needing to cover is by writing. In words.

Books are my saviours. They keep me alive and comfort me when nobody else can. They are pages filled with words but for that period of time I'm reading, I can be in a whole different world. In a different place. Different clothes. Different hair. Different life.



You can't blame those who wish to have Edward Cullen as their guy, nor can you blame those who wish to be flying on broomsticks in Hogwarts. I want to live in Alice in Wonderland or Narnia. Amazing books, amazing stories - both fictions. Sometimes I want Peter Pan to appear at my window and take me to Neverland.

But that will never happen.

Sometimes I just need someone to listen, just listen. Don't judge me or think I'm crazy, just listen. I have always, as far as I can remember that I'm known as the 'smiley person', the 'happy go lucky' girl, the 'laughing' girl.....well, I guess I'm a pretty good actor. Showing the half side of me. Probably what most people would want to see only.

I thank God for giving us imagination. At least in a way, I still can escape, even just for a little while.

For now, at this sentence - I'm feeling better after writing it out.



"All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot." - Dr. Seuss


Thursday, April 7, 2011

When Photos Speak





Photos. What do they mean to you? Memories. Happiness. Gratefulness. Sometimes, feelings that cannot be explained at all. It may sound silly but have you noticed all the photos that you have taken? I mean for yourself, personally and then, you compile those photos into albums. Have you noticed....how happy those little, plastic-like objects could be?

I can guarantee that none of the photos pictures something sad or somber. It's always filled with endless smiles, frozen laughs and warmth in every shot you take. That's the beauty of it - it is as though we could freeze time and capture that very moment forever. After a month, the photos will still be there. After 10 years, they will still be there, smiling as if nothing has changed.

To me, it's a way to savour every happiness we get and find in life. It's always easier to think and remember the sad and painful moments - which we clearly do not want to remember anymore than it is to relive those priceless and wonderful times. That's the reason why I feel that photography has been so important in this world. We are so afraid to lose happiness. We fear that we will forget the happiness we have.

Once in a while, open the photo album and look through every photos. Then, look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? I see myself as the person I was back then. Probably younger, naive and carefree. To see myself in those photos, it is as though I'm watching my life story. No words, just images. No words, just feelings. You watch yourself grow up in every photo, what has changed and what has remained.

Sometimes it is not easy to look at some photos either. It could turn to tears instead, a frown. Sadness whelms up inside and before you know it, your heart would be crying out loud than your eyes could ever do. Though it is the sadness of missing something, someone. You miss those people around you, you miss that happy moment which you wished never end and simply because, you know no matter what you do, there is no way you can go back and relive that moment again.

Funny, isn't it? How we can freeze time but not relive it. How can we look at those faces in those photos and wish so badly that we can talk to them, and just say: "I miss you." What hurts the most is that it may be the only time you'll ever see some of those people again. You lose touch, they move away and all you left is a fragile memory holder in your hand.

We hang up photos in every angle of our houses. We placed wedding photos at the side of our beds. We sticked our friends photos in our books. Every time we walked past those photos, we have the urge to stop and just look at them for a while. Every morning when we wake up and look at our bed side, you can't help but think: "I made the best decision in my life." Anytime you feel down or broken, your friends are just smiles away, looking at you and you know what they would exactly say.

These photos give us strength. They give us meanings that we would only understand. They give us hope when all seem lost.

Photos hold so much memories for us. It reminds me sometimes of how lucky I am to be able to go through so many wonderful moments. Chances of reliving similar moments are slim - and maybe, I don't want to relive them anymore. Not because it hurts or anything but I guess they are right where they're supposed to be: memories.