Sunday, April 10, 2011


I didn't know it was possible to be in crowd yet still so alone. Worst part? This feeling always come out of the blue. Nothing happened. I'm perfectly fine, maybe happy or just alright but within a blink of an eye, I just come tumbling down.

I don't show it. I keep that smile and laugh on my face. I keep it until I don't even know when I'm pretending and when I'm real. Sounds depressing? Probably. The thing is the only way I can express myself without needing to cover is by writing. In words.

Books are my saviours. They keep me alive and comfort me when nobody else can. They are pages filled with words but for that period of time I'm reading, I can be in a whole different world. In a different place. Different clothes. Different hair. Different life.

You can't blame those who wish to have Edward Cullen as their guy, nor can you blame those who wish to be flying on broomsticks in Hogwarts. I want to live in Alice in Wonderland or Narnia. Amazing books, amazing stories - both fictions. Sometimes I want Peter Pan to appear at my window and take me to Neverland.

But that will never happen.

Sometimes I just need someone to listen, just listen. Don't judge me or think I'm crazy, just listen. I have always, as far as I can remember that I'm known as the 'smiley person', the 'happy go lucky' girl, the 'laughing' girl.....well, I guess I'm a pretty good actor. Showing the half side of me. Probably what most people would want to see only.

I thank God for giving us imagination. At least in a way, I still can escape, even just for a little while.

For now, at this sentence - I'm feeling better after writing it out.

"All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot." - Dr. Seuss


Vanshaj Kapur said...

I cant really comment on your blogpost. But, i honestly enjoyed reading it and connect to it(on a different level). But very well portrayed.

Huda Merchant said...

you know thats how I feel right now :/ but, yeah writing so helps alot and talking to people who would actually care.

♥ Poulomi ♥ said...

OMG, I so totally relate to this :O

and, Books are indeed the saviour.
P.S- Edward Cullen obsessed freak here :P

take care, you.

QM said...

@Vanshaj: why can't you really comment? Thank you! :)

@Huda: I totally agree. I hate this feeling but soon, we'll be alright <3

@Poulomi: Books are saviour! Hahaha, I love reading Twilight Saga books ;) Take care too!

Wali Khan said...

Well it sounded exactly how you wanted it should sound. I can totally relate with it... it happens for sure...

Am happy books are their for rescue. For me its driving, sadly I cant to do it every now and then...

And yes! writing always makes you feel better, am glad you feel the same. Its always better than explaining it to someone... cuz i somehow want to keep it within rather telling it to ppl.