Lately, disappointments have been running into me; from people to things - including myself. You know that saying, "Expectations lead to disappointments", well, perhaps I expected too much. It's really quite easy to get lost in your head when the world is merely quite an illusion itself.
It's nice for a while, to create these 'expectations' in your head because just for a moment, your world feels like a wonderland. Everything seems to be going right for you until reality hits you, that is. Then you have to wake up from this wonderland of yours as reality throws its pieces back to you, inflicting the harsh truth that you tried so hard to run away from.
It sucks, really.
To realise whatever you've been hoping and expecting for will never happen, yet deep down there's still a faded hope that it will. That's why I love books. I love movies too but I really love books. I love how the moment I open it up and start reading, everything around me cease to exist. It's just me and the wonderland from the book. When I cry or laugh from what I read, it feels good. I feel like books understand me, in ways that even I could never possibly understand myself.
And I don't need to deal with disappointments in books. Sure, I get upset with some endings but when I close the book at the end of the day, I feel alright. Maybe it's because in reality, these disappointments can't be closed; they'll always be there - right in front of you. Dreams that had turned to dust and hopes that had turned into nothing.
Maybe someday, something or someone will show me that for once, these disappointments I'm facing now are worth something. I do hope that it won't be too long.