So we did Lady Chatterley's Lover today in the book club. It was.....sensual and sort of depressing? The sad part is I didn't get to read the book (I only read the synopsis off the internet) because apparently, it's out of stock. Oh well :(
Anyway, last week we did a review on the book - Kite Runner. Yes, I did read this book (two times) and Shu Fei was the moderator. It's really an amazing book despite the many heart-wrenching moments that forced me to take a break from the book when I read it. Despite it being a fiction, I felt it was very real and that's one of the most important aspect of a book -- creating another world for its readers.
So here, we have Hassan and Amir who are literally two opposing characters. If you just glanced it through, you would probably think Hassan represents the 'good' and Amir represents the 'bad' kind of person. That's how we were during the discussion, we were telling how much we could not stand Amir because of what he did to Hassan when Miss Mel pointed out, "Well, don't you think we despised Amir so much because we are actually like him? Or perhaps would do the same things that he did?"
I thought, hell no. However, as I analysed it further, I realised that maybe.....I would have done some thing as Amir did. That oblivious thought scared me but did that made me a bad person? Or did it just showed how human beings are really like? Honestly, I am doubtful that any of us could have done at least of what Hassan did for Amir, even after finding out that Amir betrayed him. If I was in Hassan's position, I would have cried, cursed and cut all ties off with Amir.....but he didn't.
That was one part of the book I was baffled by and it was when Amir got the postcard that Hassan had written for him. There isn't a single ill-feeling word coming from Hassan and it sounded the outermost sincere letter, that he misses Amir and I was just asked myself, "Why?!" I really felt like bringing Hassan alive from the book and just asked him, "Why do you miss Amir? Why did you cover up for Amir when he betrayed you? Why are you so loyal to Amir? Just whyyyyy?"
Suddenly, in the midst of asking those questions (to Hassan), I caught myself being angry and frustrated. Then, it hit me. I was being like Amir. I was being angry and pissed off like Amir. I was being so because just like Amir, I know I would not have done the same thing if someone had done such terrible things to me. Just like Amir, which I think he realised that he wasn't mad at Hassan but at himself for knowing that he doesn't deserve the way Hassan is treating him. Just like me, I felt the same way as Amir did because maybe, I'm an Amir too (?). Perhaps the reason why most of us are mad at Amir because he was just as human as us and his mistakes are just as we might have done.
Miss Mel was right.
I find that pretty sad, sigh.
On a more saddening note, I can't find any Dorian Gray and Perks of Being a Wallflower ANYWHERE. Mother of all books, why :'(