Monday, February 6, 2012

Lights Will Guide You Home

I can't help with the way my thoughts flow and it's really bothering me. I could be doing something else or at least trying to focus on one thing but my mind drags me down to another path. Sometimes I feel like I'm caught between two emotions and usually, the contrast between them is big (happy and sad). Is that even possible? Usually my tweets reflect my unusual bipolar self where I would be as jolly as fat kid eating his chocolate and solemn as a kid getting the blues. The weirdest part is, there isn't any particular event or thought that makes me feel the way I am. However, on certain occasions, I do catch myself wondering more about myself...from my inner-self to outer-self, from the past to present to future, from emotions to thoughts. It's like simultaneously, I'm taking a step both back and forth -- that I know. The only part is (most importantly) I don't know why, I'm still figuring it out.

No, I'm not an emo person. Heck, I'm just a human. Probably I express myself a little bit too much but I'm an extrovert; I believe letting it out is better than collecting it all inside. Although I do blame myself for over-thinking, for creating scenarios and problems that weren't there in the first place. However, can I blame myself for thinking too much, really? For because there are just too many maybes and hopes, and not enough black and white answers.

But I'm getting there, wherever 'there' is. Between juggling studies for A-levels, worrying about universities, getting fat, not getting enough sleep, tumblr-ing and blogging....(*pats own back* amazing how I'm still surviving), I will find my way through this black hole and be my own shining armour! (pretty content that I'll end up with cats)

"This too shall pass." I'm going to hold onto that phrase. If there's anything that I never lose in life, that would be faith.

PS. I just found out those numbers on a bread toaster are actually timers and not heat setters.

My childhood had been a lie.

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