Sunday, May 20, 2012


"The word 'infinity' is being overused." 

I don't get it. How can you overuse 'infinity' when it clearly has no ending?

Alright, maybe it is being used a lot; in fact, not only in words. Right now, there's this infinity necklace and infinity rings which I thought were tacky but sweet, I thought the infinity tattoos look cooler. Just saying. Anyway, besides being an uncountable number, 'infinity' is quite significant in many ways -- or at least, the way you interpret it.

Most used this infinity symbol for love. Okay, that's a good significance. It symbolises that your love has no beginning and no ending; it was infinitely there before any of you know it was. The love you feel for someone is infinite - you can go all day, months, years til wrinkles start to form but you won't feel overwhelmed by this person because as infinity goes, it just keeps going. There's no limit to love.

"To infinity and beyond!" By far, one of my most favourite infinity quote. (seriously, if you don't know where this quote is from, I feel sad for you) Not only we're going to infinity, we are going beyond it. It's possible that there might be something more and greater than infinity, right? Crazy but possible. What if this 'beyond infinity' is something so huge and compelled that none of us could grasp how enormous it is. Imagine, something greater than infinity. The universe as we know might just be a drop of infinity only.

"I feel infinite." It took me a while to understand this feeling. At last, I did. To feel infinite is to feel divine in your own unique ways. For Charlie, he felt infinite being with Sam and his friends, with his songs...I think we feel infinite when we feel belong -- comfortable and at ease with whoever and whatever we are with. Those who see the real you and actually understands even the messiest corner of your mind. To feel infinite is to feel the most comfortable way you could possibly ever feel. Now that's beautiful.

I think infinity has a beautiful meaning, in whichever sentence anyone expresses it. To feel infinite could be having relationships with people or things (like music) or you could just feel infinite, just by yourself. By listening to a song, without realisation, you drown your entire self into the lyrics and get into a trance. Even when the song has ended, it hasn't ended for you -- not through the earphones, anyway.

Being infinite is huge (if you get what I mean), you overcome your insecurities and reservedness. You discover yourself and when you do, you're not afraid to show others how divinely unique and different you are. So you should just be whoever the hell you are. I mean, why be a digit when you can be an infinite?

Hmm. I think I feel infinite right now.

I think.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Magic, Magic, Magic

If there's one thing I wish that exist, it would be magic.

Or maybe Hogwarts, Half-Blood Camp. Magical creatures, wands, witches, kings and queens.

Aside from books where I acquire my magical experience, which sadly isn't available in reality, I cannot find any other matching feeling to it. In reality, we are constrain to routines, jobs, works, timetable and so many responsibilities that sometimes we lose our touch to our magical side.

This is what I mean by 'magical side':

"One day, I woke up and just thought, "You know what? Screw this." I got up, packed some of my favourite clothes and toiletries. No way, I thought. I'm not going to spend another day like this. I need something new. Something to revive myself. So I took the car keys and began my journey. Where to? Wherever the road takes me I supposed.

After an hour plus of driving, I've finally came across this lovely looking place. It was really green, decorated with beautiful flowers and I could feel the wind caressing every bud of them. For the first time in my life, I didn't feel bothered by anything. I wasn't worrying; I felt -- happy. Like really, really happy. This was the feeling I've been searching for since God knows when. The feeling of being truly happy and worry-free.

I miss that."

Of course, I didn't do that. I would like to but my mum would probably slaughter me and I don't have my own car, sadly.

But that is exactly what I mean in this post. Given the chance with a free ticket to every place in this world, I would just pack and leave. Explore every inch of this earth and travel. I cannot stand the thought of being constrained and kept permanent to one place. I cannot simply based my whole life to only just one thing. I need to be free. Breathe in different airs and steps on different soils - that's what I need.

I'm turning 19 next Friday. Not exactly enthusiastic about it but hopefully, 19 years from now, I would still be blogging, in a different place - somewhere far and new. Hopefully, I'll find my magical happiness by then.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Quotes Part 3

 "If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it."
- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

"It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it."
- Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."
- Dead Poets Society

"But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."
- Dead Poets Society

"What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though."
- J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in The Rye

"I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."
- J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

“What are you going to do with your life?" In one way or another it seemed that people had been asking her this forever; teachers, her parents, friends at three in the morning, but the question had never seemed this pressing and still she was no nearer an answer... "Live each day as if it's your last', that was the conventional advice, but really, who had the energy for that? What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn't practical. Better by far to be good and courageous and bold and to make difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you. Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance.” 
― David NichollsOne Day

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

It's the Little Things

I swear, I swear, I swear, I need some motivation. Anything. It feels like I'm somewhere seated along the low points of my life right now (oh so depressing) and I'm not sure if I want to get up -- yet. Yes, please do blame it on A-levels exam that is just lurking around the corner but that is just the BIG picture of it. The most visible one to put so.

Little things matter to me. As much as they make happy, they equally upset me.

I admit, I'm the sort of person who really cherish little things. And I do mean, the most possible little things. I appreciate them to bits. You know, the little things in life which you can find the most utterly joyous moments. So what are little things? Oh well, something like....managing to write in straight lines on a blank A4 paper, finding pretty book covers, your favourite song which you haven't heard in ages playing on the radio, and well, just the LITTLE things. Those which we often don't pay attention to but they take up most of your happiness.

Sounds plain, I know - those little things. But they really make someone the happiest they could possible do. I never quite understood my passion for little things, and it doesn't have to happen to me. It could happen to someone else as I watch it happens and I'll just absorb it into a trace of smile. It makes me happy. That's one thing in life I find amazing.

I like it when I do little things for people. They won't realise it sometimes or too often but I know it makes them happy. If you really look at someone's eyes - I mean, really look, everything you need to see is right there. In return, that's the little thing I take in return. The few flick seconds of happiness that dance in their eyes and I don't think it can get any better than that. Honestly, I think this is one of the few things we look passed on. So, try it. So worth it.

But you know what I really love? When someone does or remembers little things about me. Not trying to be cliche here or something but honest to God, you don't know how much I love people like this. I can be in the shittiest mood for the entire day but just by someone doing one little thing for me, it can turn my whole day around.

Most of the time, they don't realise what they're doing -- and I guess that's the best part. When someone does and remembers the little things about you unconsciously, it actually reflects on how much you mean to that person. Awesome feeling it is, really. Shoot. I need a guy like this. I don't need roses or that weird, why-are-you-giving-me-a-teddy-bear on every goddamn Valentine's but instead, the little things along the way.

So I pretty much guess why it's so easy to get at myself. I'm easy to please and easy to get upset. While others may think I'm being too emotional (bitch please), I find the comfort that while most dive and race after what everyone wants; I still can find the best in the little things.

Sitting here, writing this post on a weekday morning - just another little thing.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

One Day - July 15th

"If I could give you just one gift, do you know what it would be? Confidence. That or a scented candle."

- One Day, David Nicholls


Unless you don't give a flying fuck, be my guest and read up :) **

You have no idea how I squealed watching One Day. Well, because Jim Sturgess is such a sexy little thang and I have a huge girl crush on Anne Hathaway. I read the book first, again. A habit. But I wasn't in much disappointment with the movie. I cried. So that's a good thing. But I cried harder reading the book. Books just have that effect on you. Words of emotions.

Anyway, there are just so many, many things I like in One Day. It's a love story with so many other elements in it.

Here it goes:-

1. Love - I think that it's the simplest yet the hardest thing in the world. It's simple because it's all around you but it's hard because it's fragile. And Emma in One Day, I agreed with Ian -- I never really thought Dex deserved her, not truly anyway. She's everything that he's not but somewhere between those loops, they fit each other. She made him decent and in return, he made her very, very happy. Plus, I like how far their love could travel even oceans apart. It's nice to see that just because someone isn't there with you, doesn't mean they aren't there for you. And how after 20 years, after so many twists and losses, they found each other again. Perfect.

2. Travelling - I need a guy like Dex. Who loves travelling. I love travelling, even if it's an hour ride or a month of road trip to any road I feel like taking. I like how in the book, Dex perceives travelling not just as 'fancy places' but in attempt to discover yourself. It should be that way; not just travelling physically but spiritually as well. You put yourself in a stranger's land, stranger's toilet, stranger's air -- when all around you is not what you are used to, you attempt to let go of what's supposed to be you and find yourself.

3. Writing - Do you realised often writers would include at least one character, especially the main one either as writers or something artsy? I know some find it cliche but I like it 'cause the writer is putting a part of her/himself in the story. So here, Emma's the writer. And I just feel related to her in this part the most. Clearly, being a writer. Wait. Let me rephrase - making your career as a writer since everyone is a writer of their own, well, it's not easy. It's hard, I know. I honestly can see myself along in the future, being like Emma - wanting to give up and losing her way but then there's Dex, who was the only one who truly believed in her and make her become the writer she wanted to be. That, to me, was the sweetest thing ever. Oh! And how Emma traveled around places just to write, from India to Paris. God, that's so beautiful. I need to do that.

4. Letters - In the book, Emma and Dex exchange letters throughout the 20 years or so. THAT IS SO AMAZING. Sorry, I have a fetish for letters. So old-fashioned and romantic. Short ones, long ones; it doesn't matter. I like how whenever I feel like 'hearing' from someone, I can just open up the letter and read it, about their days, their concerns and life - even if years have passed. I have a few letters I still keep, never once I read them without feeling it was just like yesterday. Nostalgia.

5. Risks - YOLO. Hahahaha, I just had to do that. Seriously, I'm like Dex in this part. Just do whatever goddamn thing you want to do. The higher the risk, the better.

6. Fate - Mmmh the most cliche thing of all but we're all believers in fate, or at least, try to. It's pretty surreal, isn't it? To know that your fate has been written down long before you were born. But if you ask me, fates come in many ways. It could be one day or 20 years. Everything lies on the person she/himself at the end. Emma realised her fate was with Dex, long before Dex did and that was sad. Buuuuut, hey, Que Sera, Sera :)

7. Screwing up - Soon you'll see, everything will be alright. It will. There'll be days when nothing goes right for you, every shit comes tumbling down and all you want to do is to evaporate into thin air. Dex, on the other hand, really screwed up. I felt so bad for him. First, he screwed up things with Emma. Then, life screwed him up when Emma died. To come and think of it, this thing do happen to people and I just wonder how do they ever live through this. But I think I found the answer (from Dex's dad by the way)

"The best thing you could do is try and live your life as if Emma were still here. What do you think I've been doing for the last ten years?"

Sigh. This is making me sad :( 

And now, I need to listen to 'See You Soon' by Coldplay. I'm gonna bawl my eyes out.