Friday, June 1, 2012

Dear Thoughts

I always had a fascination for thoughts. My thoughts, your thoughts. I've just watched Eckhart Tolle's video on 'Where do thoughts come from?' It's really interesting, the way he described it and viewed thoughts more than just voices in our heads. What really got to me was when he mentioned that our thoughts are not exactly our thoughts.

Check it out.

Anyway, I figured that if I could write a letter to my thoughts, this is what I would like to send:

Dear thoughts,

Hi, where are you now? Are you currently lazing around the back of my mind or sneaking around, trying to pick up some old tapes that are left around the corner. How many of you are asleep? How many of you are awake? Are you even listening to me? Do you listen to me? Because I can hear you every time. Although sometimes I choose to ignore you and play some loud banging music, don't get me wrong -- I don't mean to offend you but you do get on my nerves sometimes.

Are you alright? Recently I've been feeling your blueness, confusion and anxiety. What's bothering you, thoughts? What have you been feeding on? What is that you have been thinking of? Tell me. I don't like to feel you this way. Scattered and confused. Trapped. So tell me, what's bothering you? I'm always here to listen, even though my annoyance to you is something I need to work on -- I'm here to listen, thoughts. So tell me.

You know what I think you need, thoughts? Freedom. You need to go beyond what lies within the walls that surround you. Take a trip to....where do you want to go? Greece? Rome? A beautiful garden? Take a train of thoughts there and discover yourself freely without any barriers. Mind you, though. Be good. Control yourself and let the train take you where it will stop. So don't jump off the train.

However, I also think that you need security, thoughts. Not that sort of constraining security but a safe security that comforts you when you overthink and overload yourself. I know they are so many of you there, thoughts and it won't be easy but that's the reason why you need this security. So don't stand alone, thoughts. No matter how dark or hideous as a thought you may be. In the sea of countless of thoughts, you ought to be able to find some other half of yours.

I've found out that you like to speak to me when the night dawns in, thoughts. I'm not sure why though. Is it because the dark sky night feeds on your colour? Or is it because after all that has passed through one day, you will sit back and start replaying and thinking and analysing what has today brought to you. I do try, thoughts. I listen to your questions, your confusions; I do feel you but most of the time, I don't have the answers to myself. I'm just as confused and cornered as you.

So thoughts, it's alright okay? Don't overthink yourself. Some things are meant to be the way they are. If it makes you feel any better, I just sat for my first paper today. I guess you knew how was it though. I'm doomed.

- Qamarina


Shufei said...

This is probably my favourite post on your blog to date.

Crazy amazing. I can't wait till you're out and travelling and I see your name printed on a magazine or book or tabloid. Because you definitely deserve that.

And I hope you (and your thoughts) are all okay. *hug*

JoelleChew said...

Crap, QM. You are a heck of a writer. I agree with Shuf -- your work deserve to be in the top of reading lists. I'll buy all of your books and make you sign them. :p

I can't wait til you get out there, do what you do best and take the world by storm. The world needs a change in perspective anyway. :)

Qamarina said...

@shufei: Aww, Shuf :) Thank you! You deserve it as well, you know that? I can't wait to read your publications.

@joelle: Hahaha :p I'll sign and kiss them for you! Thank you as well :) Really means a lot. You too, kay!