Monday, July 30, 2012

High Higghhh Hiiigghhh

I just spent 50 minutes of my life watching this AMAZING 'LORD OF THE RINGS' SYMPHONY.

Stumbled upon it by accident and I instantly drowned in it. Makes me want to be at Middle Earth so badly. Sigh. I absolutely love Lord of the Ring's soundtracks, they are so mesmerising. Oh, please don't kill me for this but I actually prefer LOTR than Harry Potter. I do love Harry Potter! I love magic and Hogwarts but well, I have a "thing" for high fantasy novels and I have never seen any more higher fantasy than LOTR. A standing ovation for the late J.R.R. Tolkien!

On a random note, I thought of listing things that I have a "thing" for. That "thing" which pulls every wire in your brain because you cannot help but to fall in love with it.

1. Chocolate

    Insanely the best dessert/snack ever. You can eat it with breads, milkshake, ice cream or just pure  chocolate bar. YOU CANNOT HATE CHOCOLATE and the excuse of 'it has so many calories!!' Bitch please. Have you not heard? Chocolate aids in the cure of depression and stress. But for me, chocolate is the cure for anything.

2. Old Books

    They sort of have this deep and rich aura, something that can only be obtained after a long time. They look so precious and beautiful. Especially those hard covers, with faded colours, printed-in words and most of all, the smell. Ohmygod, closest thing to heaven.

3. Gardens

    Big, huge, flowery gardens. With secret doors. Secret pathways. A swing made of wood. Somewhere I can create and escape into my own world. A mixture of garden from Alice in Wonderland and The Secret Garden. Lots of flowers crawling around the walls and above the ceiling (if there's any). I can spend forever there.

4. Cats

    CATS ARE SO FLUFFY. *dies*

5. Clothes

    I really have a "thing" for clothes. Most girls do, I guess. And I don't mean I have a thing for clothes just because I'm a girl. Like how some people have a thing for gadgets, clothes are personal to me. A form to express and feel good about myself. The best part about clothes is matching different pieces of them up and creating different outfits. The worst part about clothes is, well, money. *cries*

6. Beaches

    Need I say more? The word of it justifies everything that comes with it. Waves. Sands. Clear sea water. Blue skies. Sunrise. Sunset. Wind. Freedom.

7. Polaroid Photos

    Almost give the same vibe as black and white photos. But polaroid photos seem more personal because they are collect-able, snap at an instant and a memory is made -- literally. If I had a polaroid camera, I'll be snapping away and pasting every photo on my wall. (Yup, I have a "thing" for pasting photos on room walls)

P.S. I have a "thing" for elves as well. If I could, I would be one -- inspired by LOTR and Eragon.

(I am so highly intoxicated with high fantasy right now)

Monday, July 23, 2012

Kafka on the Shore

Fasting month has begun! Hopefully I'll be able to shade few pounds but the cravings I get while fasting is itching my salivary gland :S Disgusting, I know. Anyway, I've watched Spiderman AND Batman. And this is what I can conclude: Batman > Spiderman. Sorry for all Spidey fans but Batman this time owned it. Hands down.

But that's not what really intrigued me, though the bike was sickkk. I have to admit. I completed reading Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami and to be honest, I couldn't comprehend whatever I read out of it. It took me a while. In fact, a very long while. The whole time I was reading it, I felt disturbed (as what Shufei told me) I could not understand or figure out what Kafka was doing, or his dad's prophecy was all about or Nakata and his ability to talk to cats or eels falling from the sky or the stone. When I read the last paragraph, I was dumbfounded because I still could not figure out what Murakami was trying to tell me - his readers. So I put on hold, writing this post and reflected back all the pin points in the book.

And this is what I got out of it. I shouldn't have been reading, taking the words, forms of events, thoughts of the book literally - because it doesn't make sense, not at least in reality. It's a metaphor. The whole book is a metaphor. It's talking about something by referring it to another thing. The prophecy. The music. The forest. This metaphor that took place in the book, I believe it refers to our own interpretations. What I see in you is different from what you see in you and vice versa. The whole idea of this metaphor lies in our communication through language - words, our understanding of something in terms of something else. What I understand could be understood as interpreted by another person, who in turn is interpreted by another person. Basically, what I could grasped from it is that we all live in this cyclical sets of interpretations. I make sense of you and you make sense of me. And if I can't make sense of you, well, you're basically viewed as normlessness (pulled it out of Sociology, haha)

The whole talking to cats and Johnnie Walker who kills cats in order to collect their souls -- some may ponder is Nakata mad? If Johnnie Walker is the person that Nakata said he is, then why Kafka, his own son saw nothing but a stone faced father who couldn't pay much attention to him?

What I viewed out of this is that us as human beings are also conscious beings. In any relationships and interactions that we connect by sigh and touch, we are constructing all these events and objects in front of us. Johnnie Walker is real -- feels real since the Nakata actually did kill him and his body was found by the police. But on the other hand, Nakata's experience with Johnnie Walker is a different thing. It was constructed by his mental state. His talents of talking to cats and the Stone as well are simply viewed as features of his consciousness. Thus, he could see and hear things that are out of this world. And honestly, I'm trying my best to put my thoughts into words but I'm sensing I may be sounding like Nakata. But I did my best okay!!

I did few research and found a splendid review on this book, too. Here's an extraction:

So who you are to me is a choice I make, not you. And how I choose to interact with you is based on how I believe my conscious experience will progress based on that interpretation. If I do something because I believe it will make you happy, it is because making you happy is somehow in my self interest, something I desire, and why I think it will make you happy, and who I think you are, is all part of my consciousness, with no necessary relation to reality (i.e. – it might not actually make you happy, because I could be wrong about you). If I write a letter to you bearing all to get something I need off my chest, it is the process of writing the letter that was important, it was getting it off my chest that was important. How you respond to it and whether you even read it, is not something I can control, but I used you as a vessel to go through a certain process (this is an example from the book). And so similarly, throughout this book you see characters choosing to view people in certain ways, choosing to interact with people in certain ways, imposing their own metaphors on the world that they are interacting with. It is filled with people doing things, kind acts, for other people, not *for* the other people, but for themselves, for their own reasons. Objects of our consciousness are like vessels for a process of self growth (ideally).  And it is only when the main character of the story realizes the truth behind choice, consciousness, and metaphor that he is able to complete the journey he is on.

(Source: here)

I think Kafka on the Shore isn't just a story. It's more than a story, like a story within a story (just like Narnia) The whole book touches on relationships with humans and nature, interpretations between the self, love and friendships. It talks and circles a lot on consciousness. So, most of the time when you're reading it, you're not able to construct out of your mind the things that you've read. But I believe that Murakami intended that. For us to read and see things by our own interpretations and of course, by metaphorically.

Sunday, July 15, 2012


Somethings really pisses me off. Annoys, irritates the hell out of me. I'm going to spill one today. And that being when some people try too hard to sound and act better. Wiser. Smarter. More matured. The fact is, you know in your guts when someone is trying to pull a King Solomon on you and in the back of your mind, you're going 'oh, fuck you'. Or it could be just me. *shrug*

I've seen it in some people, who try to sound noble and older by telling and doing things that do not quite comprehend with themselves. Generally, it feels more to as though they are doing this, in an attempt to justify their actions and thoughts in certain things, rather than 'this is just the way I am'. They give excuses for themselves. Say one thing and do another. And it, well, turns me off completely. But it turns me off mainly because they not only convince themselves but to others as well, to justify and construct an image for others to see them in the way they intend to.

Hey, don't find excuses for yourself. It is one of the many downfalls that make us dwell on the same thing over and over again. As many colours as there may be in this world, some things will always remain in black and white. It sort of represents simple principles in life - you can't simply mix them together and become grey nor can you add another colour in. Don't try to be smart. 

Just wrap this concept around your minds, nobody likes fake people. Yup, that's the word. Fake. In front of a camera, one could be fake in whatever the script tells him/her to but sweetheart, this world isn't your stage or podium. Nor does the world revolves and tilts according to your seasons. Don't be fake. It's really, really that annoying and unoriginal. Opps.

Nobody needs to listen to your self-written script. Because honestly, it is that bad.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Flowers, Flowers,

I like flowers. I like them, big or small, pale or colourful - even those with thorns, although they seem to imply something powerful about them but they are still flowers; delicate and fragile. I like flowers. They seem as though they are always laughing silently. You can't hear them but you can feel them, the vibe when you hold one in your hands seem untouchable, like you're scared with one wrong move, the petals that rotate around its beautiful membrane would be crushed. Even the smell of flowers, oh my, aren't they lovely. You can stay in a meadow of flowers and breathe in the smell that cleanses not only your lungs, but your soul and mind.

No, I don't like flowers because they look pretty. That's judgmental, to based on looks. No way, it's much more than that. You see, flowers are more than just pretty little things. They are always, always looking happy.

"Someone in India once told me that flowers are the earth laughing." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

What would I not give to still feel (I said feel, not look) pretty and happy after a stormy day? What would I not give to be able to make others happy just by the sight of me? There's no need for splash of cash or a flight to Paris - you have flowers, that's all you need. Though sad to say, little things are pretty much overlooked, not giving the attention which should be given.

"Stop and smell the roses."

Stop and appreciate those little things.

You know how others vouch for peace, love and all those humanitarian stuff? I think instead of pasting up posters and campaigns with boring talks, people should just shoot flowers in the air and flood the entire street with petals of flowers. Make the street into a field, bloom like tulips, cheerful like sunflowers, lovely like roses and happy like daises. Flowers in its most delicate, overlooked and simplest form brings happiness.

It's a natural gift from mother Earth, something from her womb - the purest thing that we could ever find and give and receive from anyone. Kind of makes sense why we always give bouquet of flowers during parties, graduations, weddings and birthdays, doesn't it?

God. I just love flowers. Such pretty little thaaangs.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Just A Blab

I've finished reading The Great Gatsby, King of the Sea by Dina Zaman and The Wife by Rosmini Shaari. Never felt so productive! The Great Gatsby is a classic, set in the jazz era -- wonderful book but it made me flinched so many times. The former are local books but truly, you'll be surprised at how it is written, very close to reality happening right here. Especially The Wife. Worth reading.

So I'm currently reading Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami!

I know. Such a slow reader but I have more time now :D

Then, Norwegian Wood, A Tale of Two Cities and Great Expectations are up next! Hmm. But I'm still craving for John Green's books. Oh! And Book Thief.

Argh. That's the problem with books (or the lover). No matter how many books you have -- or still unread, you always want more.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Why I Prefer Walking Than Talking

I've never been a person who wears her heart on her sleeve. It's the one thing that makes me stir in my seat when someones display their hearts to me. Literally I could my eyes darting back and forth, stomach cringing inwards and an uneven smile creeps on. Put it simply, I'm an introvert person. Discussing about feelings is really not my cup of tea. Too much emotions makes me uncomfortable, it gets overwhelming and unsettling.

I was just talking to my friends about it today and they too, agreed and understood about it. You know it. I know it. Okay, that's good enough.

I'm really not the kind of person who sends a text to my friends: "Goodnight! You're my BFF okayy. I love you "

I'll just text: "Eh bitch, where are you?"

Admit it, it takes more love to call someone a bitch and for them to reply: "I'm on the wayyy!"

Not going to lie, I do have great friends and really couldn't ask for me. It's nice to know that there are people who care for you, who love you despite how imperfect you can be on some days. But I'm really not an expressive person who will tell others - my family and friends how much they mean to me. I won't go hugging and telling people that every time I see them. To let them hear the replayed words every time, it kind of loses its essence after some time.

That's another story though.

I don't fancy hearing all these sweet things - because I don't see the point of it. Truthfully, my eyes roll at times. Once in a while, it's fine I supposed but too much of self-displaying is just going to kill. Like after hearing something too many times or staring at a word too long, you start to question its credibility and the truth that it holds. To put all those words into actions are sufficient enough to me. That's what I hope most, that others would know that I care about them by discovering themselves and not by the heart on my sleeve, and I rather discover how others care for me because not everyone is going to love you the way you want them to. But it still counts.

But what's most important is not how you express it, that's what I've learnt. Weighing all the methods and ways to do it, the length of words, the subtle of actions; in all of what's to be said and done, if you can get what you intend across clearly, then it's good enough.

"Out of every ten words, believe in one word."

And you'll eventually discover those who only talk and those who actually walk.