"There are two people you'll meet in your life. One will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that peak their interest. The other will take his or her time reading through every one of your chapters and maybe fold corners of you that inspired them most. You will meet these two people; it is given. It is the third that you'll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book."
Friday, August 31, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
For two days in a row, this is what was all over the headlines:
"RAPIST'S FUTURE SAVES HIM FROM JAIL"
Seriously? Come on.
Shufei did a lovely and oustanding summary of the whole cases and Acts. Please read her post first. (just click on her name).
So these are the short summary of the cases:
1) A three-judge panel at the Court of Appeal unanimously ruled on Thursday to release ten-pin bowler Noor Afizal Azizan on probation in the statutory rape case, overturning a lower court's decision to jail him.
In his decision one of the three judges agreed with Noor Afizal's lawyer that, according to national news agency Bernama, "public interest would not be served if Noor Afizal was sent to jail as he had a bright future".
2) An electrician was today bound over for three years on a RM25,000 good behaviour bond after being convicted of raping his then 12-year-old girlfriend, twice last year. In handing down the sentence, sessions court judge Nisa Abdul Aziz said Chuah Guan Jiu, 22, is still young and has a bright future ahead of him.
“According to the probation report, he does not have a criminal background,” she said adding that he was not highly educated as he had dropped out of school in Form Two. Moreover, the court had found that the sexual act was consensual between Chuah and the victim, and he had not tricked her into the act.
First of all, how is not jailing them will serve the public interest? The judgement mentioned that the rapists are remorseful and regretted what they did. Fair enough. But law is law. No point crying over a spilled milk. Can they undo what they did? No. What you did is what you get. That's the law -- you cannot escape from it. However, in these cases, it was cited that because both have a "bright future" ahead of them and it will only do them and the public good by "binding them" over some thousands ringgit.
Since when money became the only medium to resolve statutory rape?
In fact, the law in Malaysia states that even IF the woman gives into consent, however if she is underage (16 years old & below), it is still considered statutory rape. One of the case, the then 22 years old electrician raped his 12 years old girlfriend. TWELVE YEARS OLD. How can you take a 12 years old's consensual to have sex as legal if even at the age, she is still not legal to marry yet. Well, unless the guy had asked permission from the girl's parents to have sex with her, then fine, I have no qualms over the ruling. Furthermore, he not only raped her once but twice by luring her from not going to school. What did he get? RM25,000 binding for 3 years of good behaviour. Heck. If I was him, I'd be happy enough.
And for the bowler's case, the girl did not complained and the incident was only surfaced when her father read one of her dairy's entry. He co-operated and surrendered. Fair enough but I'm sure he is not the first to co-operate with the police and definitely won't be the last. And a BRIGHT FUTURE because he's a national bowler?
Let me say this. EVERYONE HAS A BRIGHT FUTURE. It depends on whether you WORK FOR IT. If you know your action might jeopardise your future, then why do it?
And just because someone is under-educated, doesn't give that person as an excuse to allow him to break the law. In fact, I'm pretty sure we can find younger drop outs whose behaviours who far better than this. So please, don't stereotype people.
I know I'm not a lawyer or a judge in these cases but I wonder if the judges actually thought of the consequences of their judgement. Letting these rapists escaping jail sentences because they have a bright future and are remorseful. And have they ever thought about the victims or OTHER victims of rape who are now hiding behind closed doors because they are now fearful, knowing no matter what, their rapists won't be put behind bars.
Yes, the judge from one of the cases mentioned that their verdict shall not be precedent and the ruling of future cases should be judged by their own facts separately. Regardless of it being a precedent or not, it WILL influence future cases and change people's view towards statutory rape. Have the judges ever took into considerations of the public outrage? How is letting these rapists off would benefit society? Please explain this to me because I really am confused.
Indirectly, this is telling the victims of rapes and women that it is their fault that they get raped. That it is their fault for being born as a girl. Or their dressings which might arouse some men. Well, let me tell you this. Women are born to have breasts and vagina. God created them. You got an issue with these being too sexy? By all means, talk to the Creator because I'm sure He'll have an answer for you.
So instead of telling girls not to go out at night, why don't we teach boys to behave better?
Isn't that supposed to be the way? Equality.
I agree, both sides should be blamed when it's in the case of consensual rape but in these cases, the men completely walked out. What about future rapes? Are you just going to say "Oh no, it's not his fault. I'm sorry, he has a bright future so he's not going to jail."
A lie is a lie. A rape is a rape. You can't just dodge the law when you feel like it. The parliamentary acts are there for a purpose, aren't they so? Even if the judges want to overrule their decision or change the current law, at least think of something more sensible and beneficial. Maybe if it's consensual rape, depending on their ages, jail them both. Or something like that. Like I said, I have no legal position or whatsoever but I am speaking from the view as a citizen and the public. We want justice and fairness; and not some bolehlah cam tu attitude. Nobody goes above the law.
"Let me get this straight – it is illegal to love someone of the same gender as you, publicly make out with your boyfriend even in a deserted area with nobody around. But it is perfectly fine to rape a minor as long as they are 'willing' (why, did she show you the 'my body is ready' gif on tumblr?) as long as you stand a chance of having a 'bright future'? " - Shufei
Seriously, this thing, two cases consecutively is losing my faith in this country's legal system. They can go on and on how haram (illegal) it is for a Muslim to drink alcohol and intended to jail one of them for 6 months. However, when it comes to statutory rape which I'm sure it's illegal in Islam too, they can use "bright future", "no coercion" as valid reasons not to jail them.
Hypocrites, I tell you.
Monday, August 27, 2012
The thing about holidays is that you'll either enjoy it or dread it. Too bad, there's no such thing as 'summer' here. If there is, I'm pretty sure things would be a whole lot different. Let me get this straight. I love holidays but long holidays make me restless and rusty. I rather head back to college and study in class. Seriously.
Like I said, I love holidays. I get to spend time on my books and writing. The only part I hate about college and school is exams. Otherwise, I love learning. Cool facts you learn, new theories and knowledge. (I know, so melodramatic)
Anyway, that's not my point here. I just had to ramble it out.
So, during my restless time of my holidays, I've thought up of my bucket list . You know, that list which sits in a bucket? HAHAHAHA omg that's gotta be the most pathetic joke ever told (yes, I am very restless now) I don't have a time limit for my bucket list. Guess it's too early to set a timer on it but whenever it happens, now or 15 years later, I hope it happens.
QM's Bucket List
1. Have a pet cat.
2. Have water balloon fights with my friends.
3. Get another piercing. (Where? Not sure yet)
4. Dye my hair in funny colour. By funny, I mean "one of the rainbow" colours.
5. Euro trip with my friends. (before either of us get married -- if we ever do get married)
6. Travel the world with my other half. If not, with my cat.
7. Rock climbing. At a mountain.
8. Spend one entire day shopping without caring my budget.
9. Eat chocolate-related food for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
10. Camp fire by the beach.
11. Go on a road trip all by myself.
12. Going out at night and coming home at 6am.
13. Have a mini-library in my future house.
14. Celebrate Christmas where it's winter and it's snowing.
15. See a shooting star.
There's more but I could only think of these 15 things at the moment. Crazy, no? I'm pretty sure most of us want to do some of those things above. We're just constrained by money, time and place right now. If I had the money, older and not living with my parents - I should be able to cross out a few things off my list already. But no rush. I prefer not to think I'm growing up. Instead, I like to think I'm changing. Because as time passes, I change. I don't believe the idea of growing up.
So I hope I get to do those things! No matter how pointless, impossible and common they may seem.
And now, back to munching on moi chocolate bar....
Saturday, August 25, 2012
So lately, I've been obsessed with daises. Yes, the flower daises. My tumblr blog is literally filled with them. So lovely, aren't they?
Then again, I'm obsessed....in love with other flowers too. And gardens.
For the last photo, I feel really drawn towards it. This shadowy garden that looks so cover up and mysterious. It reminds me of Alice in Wonderland. If you really look at the picture, it seems as though there is a "door" at the end there waiting for you. It feels like the place where you can get away from reality, a step into wonderland. It's so goddamn beautiful. Even without flowers.
Omg, can someone pleaseeeee take me there? Please, oh please.
I'll marry you.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
1. The absolute sweetness of drinking water after being so thirty.
2. Laughing out loud until your tummy hurts while watching some YouTube video.
3. Curling up like a burrito in your blanket.
4. Drinking hot chocolate.
5. Eating a chocolate bar.
6. Waking up and realize you still have more time to sleep.
7. Being at a concert. Sweating, jumping and singing (screaming) at the top of your lungs in a crowded crowd.
8. Jumping on your bed.
9. Having a private concert in your room or in your car, with the music on its highest volume.
10. Singing along stupid, catchy pop songs with your friends.
11. Drinking coffee in the middle of the night.
12. Taking your heels and bra off after a long day. (pure fact)
13. When a song you haven't heard in ages plays on the radio.
14. Watching your favourite childhood movies and still react the same way as you did during your first time watching it
15. When people remember little things about you that you didn't know.
16. Reading a really good book and when you're finished, you feel like you have lost a friend. (I know it doesn't sound like a best moment but somehow, it does feel so-- in a way)
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Some days, I get moments of flashbacks, usually memories that I missed while others quite painful but always resurfaced because just like happy memories, those are when I felt most. Saying that, I was having a conversation with my best friend in the car about 'Forgive and Forget'.
I know that some of you would go FORGIVE BUT DON'T FORGET. Others, quite persistent ones would press to not forgive and never ever forget. I have a confession: no matter how mad I get, no matter how much I cry and get hurt along the process, no matter how I swear that I'll hate that person forever -- I end up forgiving silently and forgetting without realising. Some may say that I'm weak and fragile. It's alright, perhaps in your perspective I am such a person but to me, it's a burden that I would much let go off. Yes. I cried. It was horrible. But is anything going to change after that? Most of the time, no.
I had one major fight with my best friend once (not this best friend I had a conversation with. By the way, it's ex-best friend now) It was a big but simple fight. She was lying to me big time. It was cool at first but when she denied it over and over, let's just say I lost my top and that was the end of it. I moved away and next thing I know, when facebook was invented, she added me up. I thought "HOW DARE SHEEEEE!!!" but after a while, I realised that I was no longer mad at her. It has been so long that I've actually forgotten the fight. With that, I accepted her friend request. But we didn't talk. Not once. It's been few years now. And to be honest, it's alright. No hard feelings at all. I concluded that I was no longer mad at her. I have forgave her and forget about the whole bitter thing between us but -- the fact is, I didn't need her anymore.
Call me harsh but that's how I move on. That's how I cope with things, with people, with life. I find out what I need and what I don't need. There's no silent hatred or ill feeling but I just have nothing to say anymore. What we had is history and you can't change the past. Of course, it is painful to let go of things that meant so much to you but I learned that eventually, you will find out what's best for you. No matter how pretty or nice something may be, if it doesn't make you happy, if it makes you think "why am I still doing this?", can I suggest that it's time for you to let go.
Forgive all the stupid things that hurt you. Forgive that it didn't turn out the way you've wanted it to be. Forgive that it made you cry and hurt every ache of your soul. But most of all, forgive yourself. Forgive for being naive and blind. Forgive.
Then forget. And I don't mean for you to wake up one day and decide that you want to forget straight away. It takes time. Time heals all wounds. Don't force yourself. Just let it be and believe me, it works.
And when you do, you realise that you can actually live with something you thought you needed. It's all part of life, you get hit down, get up back. Cry a little, whine a little, scold yourself for being clumsy, then get up.
Look at this way, every fault and ache you go through will lead you closer to something you've always been dreaming of. Have faith.
'Til then, have a great weekend! :)
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
I swear it seems I'm having a roller coaster ride of emotions. It's like PMS-ing between intervals. Probably it's due to the fact that A-level result is coming out this coming Monday. *cringes*
Okay. Stop that thought. What comes, comes. There's nothing else to do other than to accept whatever the grades are. I'M STILL FREAKING SCARED THOUGH :( :( :(
I'm scared about a lot of things.
I'm scared of snails and cockroaches. Or anything that has more than four legs.
I'm scared of heights but I love the thrill of roller coaster (love-hate relationship)
But what I'm really scared of is uncertainty.
Actually I'm not quite sure of whether I'm scared or having a hatred towards uncertainty, but the latter seems to be too certain for such a word. The future is not written, what I am about to write is not yet written as well (for you, it's the past already) but what happens when you completely have no directions at all? It seems scary at first, but soon, that fear changes to anxiety. You're contemplating if you should turn left or take a few steps forward. The obvious answer would be "go forth" but that's the problem, I'm not sure whether I'm facing the forth road or the back road. It's all foggy.
I guess one of the many reasons why some of us are scared of uncertainty is because we have this scenario in our heads of what our lives would be, the events that would take place. Unfortunately, we learn again and again that it doesn't work that way. The only time when we can control our lives would be when we can control time -- that I believe.
I agree though, it's all part of life itself. When you lose yourself, you'll find yourself. And when you find yourself, you know what you deserve.
Perhaps most of all, though, you deserve to be okay.
Nevertheless, whatever that we want or desire, I believe at the end of the day, we deserve the best. The best of the best. Not second best. You deserve the best because you are the best that you could possibly ever be. So I tell myself again and again, when I get my PMS-ing days and lock up in my room the whole day that I deserve it simply because I'm just not feeling good today; I'm not depressed. I can't always be happy and that's alright. It's not the end of the world. There's always tomorrow.
You deserve to be happy just existing and not constantly holding yourself up to a standard of fake smiles and forced cheerfulness. You deserve to not beat yourself up when you do not reach perfect acceptance of your body, your personality, the love you receive, or anything else that may come your way. Though you should know that you are worthy of these things, learning to be happy just in a kind of stasis with yourself is a long process, and you should know that we are all working on it. You deserve to live through all of your emotions, all of your states of motivation, and know that as long as you are treating everyone with kindness (including yourself), you have nothing to be ashamed of.
PS. This is to die for!!! D:
Saturday, August 4, 2012
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY SHARANYA!
I vaguely remember you writing a birthday post for me, so it's only right and willing of me to write a post about you :)
Anyway, to my readers, let me tell you about my friend, Sharanya.
I have known Sharanya for a good 5 years now. I met her during form 3 when I moved to Shah Alam but ironically, she wasn't the first person I know (which is why I'm married to Ina). And you know what's her reason? Because she's a snob. HAHA just kidding :P Nah, she's actually a very cautious person. It takes her a while to really be sure about a person but once you get to know her, you have a friend for life :)
One thing you must know about Sharanya. She's a debater -- like serious shit debater. She travels overseas and competes in international tournaments. Awesome, isn't it!? I've never seen quite a debater like her who seems to do it so naturally in utmost perfection. We debated together in high school. A team consisted of her, Ina and I -- and she always, always ended up as the third speaker because she's just so good that she could whip all the other speakers from the opposing team. Like a boss!
She has a thing for purple as well. Purple wall. Purple hair. Purple bag. Purple skirt. Purple eye. Purple grape. Purple me. Purple you. Okay, crapping. Sorry haha. OH! And she has AMAZING EYES D: So, *clears throat* any takers out there? Just leave a comment in this post and I'll get back to you k?
Hahahaha look what I've been writing.
But what I really want to say is, she is an amazing and extraordinary individual. She's the kind of person that you can count on no matter, regardless of the situation you're stuck in. You can talk and laugh with her for hours without realising that hours have passed. But I think the best part about Sharanya is that no matter what life hurdles in her way, she never retorts back with hatred. This may sound cliche but she is one of the nicest and kindest people I've ever known and sometimes I wonder how she does it; and that's pure fact.
It's not easy to find someone with whom you can talk nonsense, do the silliest things, go "hunting", stalking in malls, stalking on the internet, make life-long plans and most importantly, for accepting exactly the way you are. So from the bottom of my heart, I thank you, Sharanya for being such a wonderful friend and I couldn't be more glad that you were born 19 years ago on this date.
Have a wonderful birthday and many more to come!
I love you loads long timeeee.
|Tan Sze Yan|
MY WIFE :D
PS. Next up, these two people are leaving really soon :(
So be prepared for some emo posts from me