Monday, January 7, 2013

Change Is Good But It Can Be Annoying Too

I've never really understood people who try to change others to become their own ideal person. It comes in any form of voluntary relationship: love and friends. It puzzles and plainly, annoys me as well. Why do you choose to be with someone and in turn, want to change them? Shouldn't you just accept them as they come when you first heard them talk, walk and look?

To be honest, I completely cannot form the logic sense of telling your boyfriend "stop smoking for me" or telling your girlfriend "you need to stop wearing short dresses" or telling anyone in particular who's close to you (and whom you choose to be with you) to stop doing something for you. I guess it's understandable to feel special, to wanting to know you're worth something but inevitably, you should know this: you hate smokers? Don't date one. Oh but you really like him/her? Then you two would have to compromise.

Okay don't get together with someone and then, complain on how they're not good enough for you or on how they can't do things right for you, especially complaining about their behaviours and habits. For all human beings' sake, if he likes to wear Crocs, then let him wear. If you fucking hate it to the point by the mere sight of Crocs you might possibly suffer cardiac arrest and die as a virgin, why the fuck do you keep going out with him? It's really annoying to be honest.

Of course I'm not denying that certain traits are bad but then, not everyone loves the same thing. What I'm trying to pin point out is, don't force someone to change for you. If they do change on their own will, then that's good. Otherwise, it would come off as you moulding that person into someone he/she you wish it was. Not exactly fair is it? It's nice when someone decides to change or let go of something important just for you but it's nicer when you stop giving a list of do's and dont's for them to make you satisfied.

I've seen it among my friends which particularly had me feeling quite sad. Love requires sacrifices, I agree though honestly, there's a line to be drawn between what's for you and what's for the other person. You shouldn't change for anyone. If you're an annoying, bickering, nagging bimbo  who loves to cry over every damn Nicholas Sparks books, then he needs to accept that every shitty annoying part of you.

Though every relationship requires compromises, same goes with friends. If your friend hates that bitch, don't hang around with that bitch when your friend is with you. But then if that bitch is really a bitch, don't bother.

Maybe I just have too much self-pride to ever do what someone wants me to do. Some call it stubborn (like my mum) and some may think I'm just being unreasonable *shrug* If you can't take me, it's not your fault really, I'm just unreachable.


Joelle Chew said...

The next time someone tries to make me change, I shall shove this article in their face so that they will realise I'm not the only who disagree on changing for someone else's sake.

Thanks, QM :)

Shufei said...

My future boyfriend is required to read this.

Qamarina said...

Hahaha aww thank you guys :) It's hard not please people especially the ones you adore but yes, we shouldn't change for anyone.

Miss you guys btw! x